AAJ V.3 Life Blog

Funny Vids

2006-03-04T22:14:00.000-06:00

Just some funny vids, some old and some new. I don't know why I did all fighting game vids...

Jackie Chan in "City Hunter" Street Fighter scene

Street Fighter Salsa

Live-Action King of Fighters

Another Street Fighter Skit - Beginners Guide

Street Fighter 2 Sketch - Hadoken (This was the funniest to me, remember how hard it was to do a fireball?!?)

Oscar Picks 2006

2006-02-26T11:29:00.000-06:00

Best Picture

Brokeback Mountain

Best Direction

Brokeback Mountain - Ang Lee

Leading Actor

Heath Ledger - Brokeback Mountain

Leading Actress

Charlize Theron - North Country

Supporting Actor

Jake Gyllenhaal - Brokeback Mountain

Supporting Actress

Rachel Weisz - The Constant Gardener

Adapted Screenplay

Brokeback Mountain

Original Screenplay

Crash

Animated Feature

Howl’s Moving Castle

Original Score

Memoirs of a Geisha

It's funny sometimes...

2006-02-05T19:22:00.000-06:00

It's funny sometimes... when things happen around me that I have no control over. I can literally do nothing for a few days, and ppl can still find ways to try to talk smack about me. Yes its disappointing, thinking you don't have beef with ppl who you thought you were nice with. I really hope they get things striaght with their own lives. I only wish for the best for some ppl. I have spent most of January relaxing, giving myself some time to rest my body from such a hectic 2005. I've already started getting back into routine, gym 3 times a week, work 4 times a week, continue research and having day offs to run errands. I've also managed to have Friday nights off to catch up with friends and go out to eat. It's usally been myself, Phil and Shannon, but we alternate with other folks that come with us as well. We always welcome those that can come out to dinner!

I've become a bit of a couch potato as well, thanks to my sweet HDTV! Best purchase in the last year. I felt like I can spoil myself and I made an excellent choice. Now I have a dvr, so I record a lot of shows that I don't usually watch. Oh and I'm loving anything in High Def. I will be treating myself to the Super Bowl in HD, since I gave myself the day off when I usually would be working on my double sundays. More folks should be getting HDTVs soon, in 3 years those old TVs will have nothing on them since everything will be digital.

I hope to get a new job soon. Thanks to having friends in good places. As I venture more into corporate America, I hope I can get the most I can out of it all. I like having a side job as well. We'll see how it all goes.

Thank you to those friends that still keep in touch. I'm not that hard to find, and I thank those that take the time out to just say hi, or a text message or an email. I make time for those that make time for me.

Oh and Harlie is still awesome.

Podcast of the Moment (I have been listening to podcasts more than music now)

DreamStation.cc Video Game Show - For those into videogames. A funny and short show, great for first time listeners. One of my faves, great community as well with forums and links and websites.

More FilmLoops

2006-02-02T14:42:00.000-06:00

Here are more FilmLoops to look at. To view any of these pics, go to FilmLoop and download your player.

2006-01-14T15:47:00.000-06:00

Trying something new so I'm not freakin bored. Tell me what you think and I'll make a few more. Here is a test run...

2006-01-03T04:08:00.000-06:00

Thanks to everyone that made it to New Years. It was fun once again, but I feel it in my gut that this might have been the last one. I know I say that every year, and then we have New Years at the house every year, but I just think I'm done. Thank you to everyone that helped out with music, food, drinks, and fireworks. I just really appreciate having good people to celebrate the New Year with and having fun as well.

My resolutions this year?? I want to think of three, but I can only think of two.

One, to get back into shape. I really slacked off the last couple of months and that's b/c I never had time anymore. I will try a new routine and hopefully it'll work out. Time to think healthy again.

Two, to be more selfish. Yup, selfish. I have been told that I've been very nice and selfless, but sometimes I don't feel very appreciated. It became quite apparent last month and in a way I feel like I might have wasted a lot of time. So I will focus more time on myself because not many people will go out of their way for me as I have for them. I wonder what happened to those that I have done that for? So I thank those that have helped me out witha few hookups here and free stuff there. It makes a difference to me, but now I will do what I want to do.

Congrats to those that have had babies, gotten engaged, got new jobs. I hope life will treat you well for the new responsibilities in your lives. It'll be tough...

I had an interesting read tonight. I think it's funny how far I can dig when I want to read things online. I think it's funny, when you don't know the person but think he's a sorry excuse for a human being. I like karma, and it looks like it has treated me well. Lets just say one man's loss is another man's gain. You messed up big time and threw away something good. Too bad you are up against someone the likes of me, and that means you'll never be better than me, not in a million years.

TAFN

100th Post

2005-12-21T18:47:00.000-06:00

SO I haven't posted in a long time. Probably because I've been real busy with tons of things. Many changes have taken place and I have found more personal time to myself to think about things. I have found myself to be very disappointed with some of the business decisions I've kept. I ended an era for myself, which turns out was only an era for me. I felt no honor, no appreciation and I'm either very angry one minute or unbelievably disappointed the next.

I feel like I want to bitch and rant and rave because it hasn't been a week and I've already forseen things changing and not for the better for me. My future decisions will be different as they are only things I can do, no one else can have last say besides me.

One thing I have not done much this year was voice my opinion or rant or bitch about things, and I feel like since it's the end of the year I should let it out. I might, but I probably won't, just because I'm about to go off and I have such a yearning to scream and yell about everything instead of holding my tongue. I let my anger out in another way, but it isn't satisfying anymore. I want to just scream at something and hurt something... Myabe I"ll bitch about it later...

I feel like being alone, because it hurts to hear what others say when you are gone. I guess I was nothing more than a person some people knew. To those that are worried, I won't stay pissed off and sad long. Christmas and New Year's is coming and I already know it'll be better than last years. I'm glad I have someone special this time around and she is probably all I need.

Song of the Moment
Utada Hikaru - Passion (Kingdom Hearts 2 Theme)

Good Grief

2005-11-03T15:31:00.000-06:00

Good Grief I haven't posted anything in forever. Well, this isn't a full post either. I have been so busy the last few months, it has been crazy. So until I'm ready for a full update on life, this will be a reminder or a Cliffs Notes of what's been going on.

New job/more new jobs
Old job update
Old friends updates
Engagements/un-engagements
Babies showers/newborns
Games and games... getting back into games
New HDTV!!!!!
Home renovating or not so much...
Astros getting to the World Series
Astros losing...
More contacts...
More shwag for me
WWE No Mercy
Wicked
Podcasts
New Pics and Vids
More and More New Pics

Lots of stuff to talk about, and probably even more...
Until then... TAFN

Song of the Moment
Gwen Stefani - Luxurious

2005-09-23T22:40:00.000-05:00

Hurricane Rita Preparation Pics

I'm bored so I decided to put some pics I've taken earlier in the past few days. Enjoy!

Rita Preperation Pics

Click here to see other people's pics about Hurricane Rita

Other Hurricane Rita Pics

Rock You Like A Hurricane Rita!

I thought this picture was funny. Where are those Power Rangers???

2005-09-21T17:20:00.000-05:00

Hurricane Rita

Well, it looks like the hurricane will be hitting near us soon. As much as I want to stay positive, I'm a little scared. I just want to leave... I don't want to stay...

Well all we can do is hope for the best. I know many people that are staying as well as leaving to safety. I want everyone to know to send out an extra prayer to everyone in the next few days.

I have so much going on for right now and it'll suck that we all have to make changes soon. I was planning on big changes myself, but I guess they'll be put on hold for now. There is so much news as well that I want to report, but they also will be put on hold.

I'm very happy with what I have going on in my life right now. Great family, great close friends, great casual friends, i'm crazy in love again... I got lots to live for.

I thank God for what I have now, and whatever I might have after the storm. All I ask is that everyone be safe.

That's All For Now...
-Allen Ragasa

PF Changs Katrina Fundraiser

2005-09-10T12:59:00.000-05:00

PF Changs Katrina Fundraiser

Hello everyone.

On Monday September 12, our restaurant is holding a fundraiser to help victims of Hurricane Katrina. It's called the Lucky Cat Assistance Fund.

We all know about what has recently happened in New Orleans, and PFChang's has come up with a way to support our fellow Changers. In addition to giving each employee from New Orleans a $500 debit card, we are also donating all our tips we make that day as well.

Our staff of volunteers has graciously volunteered one day out of our busy schedules to work for free almost and do our part to help out. The Oklahoma City store raised $2300 on their volunteer day and we want to top them! Our goal is to raise as much money as we can, so I wanted to get the word out to those that can make it in for lunch or dinner on Monday.

I myself will be working all day, as I think it's very important and I'm willing to take time for a good cause. So I would love to see anyone that can make it. If you've been needing a reason to go out to eat Chinese food, or wanted to come to Changs for a while now, this will be a great day to do it. Remember, all your tips will be donated so if you haven't taken a few dollars to help out somewhere, it'll be a great time to do so... and you get to have lunch or dinner while you donate as well.

If anyone has any questions, please contact me. Thank you in advance.

-Allen Ragasa

P.S. - I promise an all new update coming soon.

Hurricane Katrina Relief Efforts

2005-09-01T13:13:00.000-05:00

Hurricane Katrina Relief Efforts

It what's happening right now, affecting everything around us. Whether you feel it personally, emotionally, financially, it is happening to America right now. I have been watching news on Katrina aftermath and lots of emotions run through me. I'm hearing some people that result to stealing to staying alive, to men saving lives risking their own to save others. Stories of people needing more help and not getting it fast enough, while unbelievable support is coming as soon as it can. It's hard to avoid it because it is affecting every facet of life right now. I wondered what I would do if I was caught up in that area, what would happen if I had to help myself and the people around me. I hope people do not resort to taking advantage of Americans hospitality trying to help fellow Americans. Hearing that Houston is helping out is tremendous uplifting feeling. As one of the closest major cities to help out the people of New Orleans, we are doing what we can. Turning the Astrodome into a giant hotel after leaving the eroding Superdome was a brilliant idea. I also heard that to help ease the childrens mind and have a little fun, Astroworld is going to be open this weekend to collect donations and clothes as well as give kids an escape from the tragedy.

I was working yesterday and we couldn't help and have the tv's on the news. I ended up having a family of five sit down and they looked pretty normal to me. All of the sudden, the woman closest to me starts to cry and had to excuse herself. The husband and grandmother informs me that they made it out of New Orleans before everything hit to live with the grandmother. The wife got news that morning that they lost everything, their home, their belongings, everything. The husband said everything was ok because hey are alive and now with the grandmother at their Houston home. He was very positive trying to cheer his family up and being stern with his boys about being proper at the table and not playing their Game Boys. I wasn't in a position to do do anything but offer them good luck and well wishes and didn't charge them for drinks. The husband shook my hand and said thanks because they need all the luck they can have right now. I even heard that he and the wife should go to California to relax a bit before dealing with moving on. I couldn't help but keep thinking of them after they left and wondering what I could do.

A former worker of ours, Kristy Ann, had come back in to Changs. She asked Jill if she could have her job back because she couldn't return to college. She goes to school in New Orleans and worked at the new Changs that they just opened a few months ago. She said that she couldn't go back to school there because the flood drowned her school and that the new PF Changs is gone. So she needed to find work back home here again. I told Jill that about my table and she said if anyone got any news on any tables that are families from New Orleans, to let her know so she can comp a few things off their meals. Every little bit helps and I was glad that I was an employee there, doing what they could to help, even the little things count.

I know that us as Americans and human beings can do a lot to help. There are little things that everyone can do and hopefully this post can inspire people to go that extra mile. Here are some links to stories about what's going on as well as links to help donate. I donated $25 dollars this morning. I think I can look over a few dvd purchases this week. Hopefully this will be a starting point to those that are looking to help out.

Godspeed and thoughts and prayers to those that are going through this tradgedy.

LINKS

American Red Cross Yahoo Donation Site - Yahoo has partnered up with Red Cross to control the high volume of donations.

Hurricane Katrina Support Wristbands - Every wristband you buy, proceeds go to Red Cross. Sharene.com is popular for producing wristbands and pins that go to support cancer or whatever cause they go to. I bought a few things from here today.

Katrina refugees trek to Houston - ‘Atrocious’ conditions at Superdome lead to evacuation to Astrodome

Cries for help spread across New Orleans - Desperation at Superdome, convention center; safety fears halt some work

Or call here to find about charities around your area to help
1-800-HELP-NOW

2005-08-27T12:09:00.000-05:00

Just something for myself...

There are so many evils in the world, so many evil people around this world.

Thank you for being strong
Thank you for being strong in sound mind, body and soul
Thank you for not letting an ounce of poison that the evil people use pollute your mind and body
Thank you for keeping your head on straight
Thank God for everything that has set you right
I'm sure those that have benefitted from you would like to thank you as well
To those that don't need you anymore, where are they now?
You are farther along than they are, no matter what you think about yourself
You need to thank yourself, in the short and long run
Thank those that share the same qualities as you, they have made you stronger as well
You want to help them as much as they helped you
Continue to be strong, for those close to you
Be stern and strong for them because they need to use your strength as well
Don't settle for right now, you can get stronger
You had time for relaxing, now it's time to refocus
Do NOT become one of the ever growing population of drug addicted slackers
You are already better than them
Tweak your routine that got you stronger, that got your fullfillment
Refocus and set your small goals to accomplish bigger ones
A new month means new goals
Look out for what's important to number one
Thanks for staying focused
Never stop being yourself...

Thank you...

Useful Links

2005-08-18T02:46:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted in a while, so i'm going to just be random again. Useful links that everyone should read!

Well, I feel like ranting for right now because with a very happy and awesome summer, it seems like things are getting a little frustrating for a lot of people. Here are some topics that has been getting to people and some helpful links and reads.

Spyware and Adware
Everybody using the Internet gets hit with it all the time, and some people dont realize it! It cannot only harm your computer, but personal info can be obtained and hackers and viruses can infect your system. Getting rid of all that garbage not only is a long painstakingly task, but it just isn't healthy for your computer.

Firefox - If you haven't taken steps to change your browser from Internet Explorer, I hope you're enjoying your spyware. Most spyware takes advantage of flaws that are in IE and those that aren't aware of their settings can fall trap for it. Firefox is above and beyond the better choice for preventing spyware from installing programs automatically and with it's imbedded popup blocker, you can enjoy less pesky popup windows. Along with its themes and extensions, you can add and customize programs into your own Firefox webrowser. I have some great extensions like FoxyTunes, Linkification, Forecastfox and Yahoo Toolbar. Just do yourselves a favor and click on the button below and I promise you won't regret trying it out.

Download.com Spyware Center - Here is your starting point and all the help you will need. I have Ad-Aware and Spybot Search and Destroy. Just get updates and run them once a week and you can be safer to be online.

BrowseHappy.com - Still don't know what Internet Explorer does to you? Read here and they can help you pick out a new browser for your needs.

Gas Prices
Good grief gas prices are insane now! Going almost 12 cents overnight, I just think its nuts. I know we need our cars to help us get to places everyday. So please people, make sure you aren't wasting gas needlessly. Carpool, consolidate, go to nearby places, drive the speed limit all can help with more efficient fuel consumption. The last time I checked, the National Average is $2.63 and the highest price is $3.49 in Long Beach California.

GasPriceWatch.com - Here you can easily find cheap gas near you. Be helpful and become a spotter and keep everyone updated on our ever changing, and increasing, gas prices.

Save at the Pump - An article about tips to help out saving at the pump.

10 Ways Being A Smart Driver Saves You Gas - An excellent article about maintaining your car and being a conditioned driver will help in the long run and save you some gas money. It also has other interesting articles about saving gas. Try 10 Car Care Tips That Save Gas to help out as well.

13 Ways to Significantly Reduce Your Gas Costs - Another Great article with more helpful hints. Do them all!

Saving Money
I guess you could put gas prices under here as well, but I thought it should deserve its own section. With the summer coming to an end, so does the end of summer sales. Many people have had time to buy a few things over the summer in addition to working more hours to pay for it. Now with people heading back to school, the focus is split up again with the workload that comes from school. With bills catching up and tuition for school and higher gas prices, you need to find the small stuff to cut from your budget. Remember, you can't save money without first spending some money. Most of these tips will require you to buy other efficient items, but in the long run will save you more money than you thought you would. Remember, every little bit helps. Here are some of my own helpful tips:

Rechargeable Batteries - These things automatically saves you money in the long run. You will only have to pay a bigger price at first, but it saves you from buying extra batteries when they run out quickly. My favorite batteries are the

Energizer rechargeable.

You can get these at Best Buy and in all sizes and powers. You can even charge them in the car with a car charger attachment or just use the wall outlet in your house. I use the rechargeable batteries for simple things around the house like remote controls and digital devices like my digital camera.

Energy Bills - This is more for those who keep up with your house expenses and help out, like myself. Saving on energy not only can reduce your bills immensely, but it is also good for the environment. With the products these days, they can be both efficient and environmentally friendly. Look around your own house and see what you can do, like turn off the lights when your gone or keeping the A/C on when you leave as well. unfortunately, my mom still thinks that turning off the A/C completely will save money on the energy bill when it is the exact opposite. Leave your thermostat at 78 degrees when you are at home, but when you leave the house raise it to 85. It takes less energy to bring the A/C down to 78 from 85 rather when you turn off the A/C and the temperature is 100 plus inside your home. Here are some other links:

Save Money on Energy Bills - Great source and a start to help save a little energy and money. Lots of things you can do here.

Save Money on Air Conditioning Costs - Another huge list to look at, more specifically at Air Conditioning.

Save Money on Home Expenses - A multi list on the main energy sources of your home and how much you can save a year.

Other Money Saving Links

All Things Frugal - The complete site for anything and everything to help save money. It has tons of categories as well as coupons on other things to save money one. Tons of articles for all your penny-pinching and tight wallet needs!

eHow.com - Clear instructions How To Do (just about) Everything. You can find just about anything you want on here.

Don't forget the more common problems of debt. Take a look at that credit card and use it less, or not at all. I'm going to try to hide mine from myself for a while until I plan on a big purchase. Also, take a look at your bills like your credit card bill. See what you can trim off of there.

Try to find good offers. For instance, cell phone companies offer better prices for family plans. My brother and I are sharing the same plan and in the long run is going to be better when saving money. We used to go over on an old plan and we now have more room to breathe with a new family plan.

So hopefully everyone can learn something from here. My next post will be a rant post about tipping your waiters.... Because some people just don't know how important it is, especially to us waiters.

TAFN

2005-08-06T12:40:00.000-05:00

Took a test from my current fave anime... Hooray!

Take The quiz yourself

2005-08-01T22:18:00.000-05:00

Well well well... hello again everyone. I'm currently under the weather and thought that I would sit and update. One, it has been almost over a month since I updated. Two, a lot of people are checking for an update... I am almost at 5200 hits! Three, July has been a super-busy month and a lot has been going on so I've had no time to sit and actually do a big entry. But I'm going to try to do a lot this time... Randomness begins now.

I actually said a few prayers to the Big Guy a few days ago... I made sure to pray to keep all the men and women troops that are over on the other side of the world fighting for freedom. My good buddy Todd left for the Marines a few weeks ago and I hope he keeps safe. We got to hang out a few times before he left and to me, I kind of thought of him as a good friend, even treating him like a little brother sometimes like saying I would kick his butt. Another prayer went out for my mother, as she is going through some health issues the past few months. I know she is scared but I know our family will be able to handle anything that might catch us off guard. We are a lot stronger than my mom fails to realize so I know everything will be ok. The last one was for being thankful, thankful for everything so far especially for having Harlie in my life.

So as far as money is going, I'm really feeling a pinch at the moment. I didn't have a full schedule for most of the month at both jobs for a bit, plus with a few RO's. Now, we lost two OC's at AMC and it looks like we got to pick up the slack by giving me more hours. Coincadentally, they put me at a full schedule at Changs as well... and I guess I'm feeling it because I am not feeling great today. I had to call in and say I felt like crap, and I felt bad about it because I might lose a few hours because of it. I wanted to buy a laptop (even though I don't really need one) because I found them for very cheap. I always think about how I need to keep up with bills and big purchases, but unfortunately I couldn't afford it at the moment. Maybe soon, but I don't think I really need it right now.

SO instead, I used what I had and bought some clothes. Now, I've just been getting a ton of nice clothes lately and getting them at a nice price (nice doesn't always mean cheap though...) and it feels good. I've been getting a lot of Diesel, FCUK, and Express clothing and they are sweet. I'm liking the compliments I'm getting with my clothes from friends to random strangers, so I think I'm kicking butt. Oh, and I'm also looking very very good!

I also put more random pics on the side and as well as a bunch of new links. The list at the bottom is my BlogRoll from Bloglines. I recommend trying out Bloglines to keep up with news and other blogs as well. Also I have uploaded a bunch of pics from (what seemed like) everyone's bday at Dave and Busters. Thanks for Anh for inviting us out to have fun.

Check out the pics here at Dave and Busters Bday

Lots of other thing happened in the last month, but I can't really elaborate on them now. I really wished I would have updated when it was more fresh on my mind. Maybe I'll do it in another post. Until then here are some links... l33t clothin style!

Dusty Brand Tees - Some really nice statement shirts, if you like them. My faves are the "Jesus is My Copilot" and the "Booty Shirt"

Express - Some really nice clothes, when they don't cost so much. Look for those sales!

FCUK French Connection - One of my faves! They have some items on sale right now 50% 0ff! Go get some!

Diesel.com - My current fave. It's got a very nice website, very flash heavy so check it out. They got everything but the got really sweet shoes and nice tshirts. Best part, I don't see other people wearing them so originality is cool.

YOOX - The Never Ending Store - Just found this site the other day. Has some very nice clothes at good prices. You can even see how things will match up with the mirror option. They have tons of items from many desingers.

AskMen.com - Fashion and Style For Men - Keep up to date with the latest here.

Songs of the Moment
Fat Joe feat. Nelly - Get It Poppin' Click for Lyrics
Nona Reeves - Love Together (PARAPPA THE RAPPER MIX)

2005-07-02T10:24:00.000-05:00

So July begins and new plans to come out for the month, time to refocus on a few things.

The monetary issues in my last post is one big thing I want to take care of as soon as possible. With classes coming up again, I need to have a bit of money for a few classes even if I don't take a full schedule next semester.

Refocusing on my workout again. I've been running on minimum the last month, as I focused my workout time on other things. So I'm gonna try to make that up going back to my regular routine minus a few workout classes. So I'm gonna try three or four times a week minus my cardio kickboxing, yoga, and total conditioning classes. I'm also feeling a bit more sluggish but I think it might be keeping busy. Where when I felt a bit tired before, I would take my butt to the gym. Now, I feel like I need rest, so I take a nap. Time to go back to the old way. Another thing bothering me is that I'm having a little pain in my left knee again. I need to make sure I increase the training threshold and make sure it can take the daily wear and tear.

I'd have to say June was a long, long month. But, it also has been the greatest month for me in a long time. I'm really happy and I would have to say a huge part of it is due to one person, Harlie. I'm so lucky to have her in my life and I hope she feels the same. I could go on and on about her... We've hung out almost everyday minus a few days and I feel like I can't spend enough time with her. I'm so comfortable with her and I don't have to worry about being a big nerd around her. I'm crazy about her.

Now, time to humble myself. With the good, sometimes comes the bad. She seemed to start off with some bad baggage with her ex and friends. I want to be fine about it, but I can tell it still bothers her sometimes. It also bothers me because I'm automatically the bad guy to many other people, some of them I don't even know. My haters are already back and to me, they never went away. I guess they don't like it if I'm happy, not that I wasn't sad in the first place, just a lot happier than a month ago. Now, I know in my heart and mind that better than them in almost every single way. I just don't like how it's always a bother, and I don't even have to be around! The hate is going on right now as I type this, I know this because people tell me all the time. I just keep thinking that I'm under a lot more pressure to be an invincible boyfriend. Because if I make even one mistake, one weakness, one chink in the armor, they'll attack and tear me down. Why does this bother me? Well, if any of my friends know... it has happened before.

I'd like to thank those that do have my back. Those that are happy that I'm happy. It almost seems like night and day to those that are happy for me and those that hate me. Do put it in simple terms, it seems like AMC crew aren't too fond of me while Changs folk couldn't be any happier for me. Well not all of AMC hates me, I know that but to me, I don't even like being around there. Shannon is happy for me. (which I'm happy about her and Eric, I'm still taking your money devil woman!) There may be others, but I can't tell unless they say so. Changs folk just could tell right off the bat. They always want me to tell them about everything, and are freakin out when they see the big smile on my face. Joey and Jen have not seen me any more extatic, and hell they want to hang out with her too. I thank them for always wanting to hang out even when we can't. When olther people that I haven't talked to, are happy for you as well. That means a lot to me and I'm glad not everyone is a moron out there. Paul called me from all the way in St. Louis on his busy trainer schedule opening a new Changs and wanted to tell me congrats. He said he just wanted to take time out to tell me that he's glad that things are good again for me. He heard through the grapevine and he remembers when we both went through tough times and we were there to lend an ear to each other. His call was unexpected but very welcomed.

There was also a bit of family trouble that caught me off guard, but they seem to be calming down now thankfully.

As July will be about refocusing for me, I'll be having my fun as well. There are a lot of birthdays this month, some are really good friends as well as Harlie's. I have a few ideas for her birthday. I guess I won't go all out like I usually do, but it'll be good. As for other points of focus, I will keep trying to work hard and make myself healthy and better than the next person. I have more drive now and I don't want to disappoint those that have my back, send me prayers, and rely on my strength. It looks like I have one more important person I don't want to let down either. She doesn't know it but she is my new strength when dealing with those that hate me and as well as becoming a better person. With everything going on, life is good and I'll try to make sure to make things better for those around me.

Enough ranting/bragging...can't think of anything else...

Oh yeah! Here is what people are waiting for...

Here are some new pics from John and Tricia's wedding!

And here are some pics from John's lil bachelor party

TAFN
ADPO

Song of the Moment
Dream - Crazy

2005-06-30T22:40:00.000-05:00

This post is to remind myself what I bought and what I can't buy.... yet. Well with a big dent in the wallet I've suffered in the last month, I have to make up for it all. I may have spent close to $500 in the last month, but it was well justified with wedding gifts and new clothes for the wedding. Also, I have done quite a lot of traveling as I spent nearly $200 in gas alone this month. Now I just learned that I need $100+ for some car parts. It's a good thing that I'm excellent about my money and can handle it really well and I can handle a spending spree if I splurge when I want to. Well I guess with summer fun comes summer spending, going out, eating out, summer sales... it's addicting. Also, my bank upped my limit by another $500... ugh what are they trying to do, get me to spend more money?!? Here are a few of the items I was proud to get:

Don't Eat This Book - The book and continuation of the movie documentary Super Size Me written by Morgan Spurlock. It has been so far an excellent read and has caught my interest.

Oakley Whisker - I got the green version of these and at a $50 discount. I always needed new sunglasses, and I got these in addition to the other clothes I bought for the wedding, semi-impulse purchase. They are really sweet shades!

Now here are a few things I really want, but unfortunatley I'm not getting because I really can't have any medium or big purchases in the near future.

Bomberman DS - Awesome Bomberman action on two screens! 8 player multiplayer wireless gameplay with one game. Kind of hard to pass this up...

Kirby Canvas Curse - The highest rated DS game out so far. Kirby is always fun to play and this one takes advantage of the touch screen really well.

Deluxe Spire Feel-Good Fan with Remote Temperature Sensor - Out of all the things in Sharper Image that I can afford, this thing is sweet! It feels really good and even useful with these crazy summer heat. Plus I wouldn't have to rely on the house A/C when I want it a little colder in my room.

Oh and I think I got Harlie's gift picked out. Now I got to think of a plan, it's going to be awesome. Oh you know what else is awesome...? Harlie!

Coming soon, another update and a 30 Days review. Also, John and Tricia wedding pictures.

2005-06-27T18:47:00.000-05:00

Congratulations John and Tricia!!!

I haven't had time to say that it was John and Tricia's wedding this past Friday. I hope they are blessed with happiness and wealth. As I was observing the lovely couple, it just seemed like they were the only two people in the world. John had a great set of vows that I thought was very emotional. Tricia had tears in her eyes, and you can tell she was very happy. It was a very nice and quaint wedding, as they weren't looking for anything huge and extravagant. I myself was very happy for the both of them. I'm glad that John has found the love in his life as he makes the big change in his life before some of us. I wanted to enjoy the wedding more, but unfortunatley some bad mexican food owned my stomach that night and I couldn't do much in the way of dancing or celebrating. I also forgot how somber I get at weddings, I tend to think about things and I forgot that and it got to me a little. Plus, I wasn't in the best of company around me besides Phil, Anh, Harlie, Sandra and Jason. It was also nice talking to Sandra, I haven't seen her in a long time. I got to tell her about Harlie and how things are going awesome for me. She also saw that I wasn't very involved with the group on our side of the floor... But it doesn't matter because I had a great time. Enough about me, the night was John and Tricia's. Jason put on a funny speech to his brother and told him that he loves him. There was also a funny part where John and Jason danced with each other, later joined by James. Phil and I took part in the garter toss, but there were a lot of other guys wanting to get married it seems... or maybe just wanted Tricia's garter ;)

Another congrats to Tricia and John, as I heard that they got a great start financially wise and hopefully they will have a good start to married life together.

I will put up my pics from the wedding and our bachelor party at Hooters up soon.

Song of the Night
Eric Clapton - Wonderful Tonight

Coming soon: Another 30 Days review, and a big update.

2005-06-20T20:49:00.000-05:00

30 Days

From Academy Award nominee Morgan Spurlock (Super Size Me) comes 30 Days, a new series where Morgan will explore what life changing experiences are possible in 30 days. The concept for the show stemmed from the transformation Spurlock underwent when he ate nothing but fast food for 30 days in his movie Super Size Me. In this new FX series, Morgan Spurlock asks the question, what would happen if people spend 30 days living in someone else’s shoes? Find out the answer as he brings you 30 life changing days in one hour focusing on topics such as minimum wage, anti-aging strategies, and binge drinking.

Episode 1: Minimum Wage

I missed out on the premire episode of Morgan Spurlock's new project show 30 Days but I just caught it a few minutes ago. If you are a fan of the documentary Super Size Me this show is for you. It takes a similar formula but puts a different spin on it. Instead of eating fast food for 30 days, they stick other people in different situations for 30 days. In this past episode, Morgan and his fiance Alex live on minimum wage for 30 days. As they struggle to find a place to live, find a job, work hard and work injured, and trying to keep fed and outrageous hospital fees they also learn life lessons and how to survive the life they were given.

I loved this episode. It gives you an insight on how people are living and what they go through. As with Super Size Me, they keep things on track while mixing up some comedy but as well as keeping things for real and getting straight to the point. You don't lose track of what is going on as you get engrossed into what's going on. One of the best parts of the show is Morgan trying to decide to take Alex out on her birthday and spending a days worth of work, or having Alex yell at him for spending that money in the first place.

Another great scene is where Morgan and Alex go to a church run charity store where everything is free. The contrast from the bland and empty small apartment and the bright, warm and loving free store is like night and day. There were so many items that provide to the poor and everything was free. The store founder quotes "This is what generousity looks like." as he opens the doors to an organized room of clothes, thousands of articles of clothing. He's right, things get a little bit better when generousity is involved.

After seeing this, Alex breaks down and quotes something that got to me a little... "Human beings can be so incredibly wonderful, sometimes I forget that."

Go watch for yourself, as it is on the FX channel on Wednesdays at 10 pm eastern, 9 central. If not, get this episode through what you can and tell everyone about it. TiVo it and show it to everyone you can. It's something great and you'll learn something as well.

Cool Links

2005-06-20T01:33:00.000-05:00

Whew... just got back from a busy double on father's day from Changs and I'm hurting.

Well, the big AU meeting was a great success. We had brought so much food and Gatorade we could have fed a football team. Big thanks to Jeff for being our cook for the day. Everyone pulled through and brought what they were assigned to bring. It was a little too hot for me, but we had a nice breeze going on so it felt ok. We had planned for a football and basketball tourney, but it was too hot to get more games in. We did get to play some Hold'em with Chantelle beating us and not having to clean up as her prize. Everything was great and then we brought out the waterballoons. Everyone just started filling up balloons and just held them for a while. Then we all took a look at Lon and I commenced with Operation Waterfall and our plan to soak our president was on. I started it off by getting Lon from behind and he got attacked by everyone else. Then it was chaos and fun from there one. I got nailed a few times by Harlie from behind and I got some great hits on Lon, Cali and Liz. It was so much fun and we all felt better in the heat, and we were all soaked.

Thank you to Lon, our president for getting everything together. I hope, your successor will be a great one. We have our next AU meeting in a few weeks and we are going to go bowling. I love having those great days hanging with friends and not having to worry about much. It was a big event, but I feel we could do that once a month if we wanted to.

Click here to view some pics of the AU Picnic.

My body is a bit sore, mostly from staying on my feet all day. I probably need to work a bit on some cardio and strengthen my legs a bit more. I have a yoga-ish body going on and I think thats ok. I wish I was a little more jacked instead of being healthy sometimes. I'm getting a bit more tired lately, but I'm thinking I would need a bit more rest. Maybe I should get up and get moving more when I feel tired.

Sometimes, getting angry makes me feel really good. It's a shame when people don't take you seriously when you do want to explode. You're left to deal with yourself instead of having someone help you out, good thing I can control myself when it comes to containing my anger.

Maybe I expect too much out of people... I expect a lot out of me so why can't I ask for the same from other people? I guess I push myself to understand that some people just don't have any heart in anything, no matter how small it may be. I would like to think human beings are intelligent creatures, but some people just tend to make us all look bad.

Harlie is a dork, and that makes me feel good. I'm probably the bigger one, but I don't care. She makes me feel comfortable to be around and I don't have to be Joe Cool all the time. I like it when she holds on to my hand tight or hugs me even tighter. It makes me feel like I'm wanted. I feel the best when we just lay around and not do anything at all. Just lie around and cuddle and watch tv or talk.

Alright, ending sappiness....................... right now!

Song of the Moment
Batista - Unleashed Rage WWE's Batista entrance theme

2005-06-15T13:33:00.000-05:00

Been a long time since I updated. Since I have a little time in my constantly moving schedule, I'll do a little posting.

Man, I really have no choice but to plan ahead these days. I guess it's weird as usually I would only plan a week ahead for small events and get togethers. Now I have to plan almost two weeks in advance, even just to hangout and catch up with friends. It's weird having a set schedule for two weeks ahead of the date, no real room to breathe or to be flexible. If I need to be flexible, I have to plan for it... kind of hypocritical huh?

ECW One Night Stand was absolutely worth the money. Wrestling fans should know that ECW was all about and if you saw the pay-per-view, you would have loved it as well. I give it a 10 out of 10.

John's wedding is coming up soon. I still have to get them a gift. I wonder if we are having a bachelor party?

As far as my workout routine, I've been at the bare minimum. Morning squats and running and jogging have been all lately. I need to get back into the gym again. I will go under the mentality "I hate my body" and keep going at it. I can't fall behind and looks like I"ll have to push myself a little more.

Lately, I've been told I've been a real happy mood lately, moreso than usual. I guess that is because of one beautiful girl named Harlie. I hope I haven't been too sappy around people talking about her. It's weird to think how fast the news got around. Old Changs folk knew about her, AMC crew found out very fast. So yeah, I have been the happiest I've been in a long time. It's nice to know that I don't always have to be the positive one all the time. I think Harlie and I have some great excahnges and it's nice to know someone can keep up with me, or even outdo me. It's nice to know that she's crazy about me, I am feeling the same about her no matter how much of a dork she is. ;)

I also have to be weary about others now. As usual, the haters have had a bit of influence because of me. I guess they are jealous, but I shouldn't expect anything less from them. It's funny, the less I do or say, the more it'll get twisted by those guys. I will always take the high road and in fact use it to boost my ego. It's funny how some people will still act like little children. Usually you take their actual age and cut it in half... and that's what they act like. And, if anything ever gets really ugly, just like Garth Brooks says "I got friends in low places!" And these friends will go to bat for me, just because I'm a good person. Thank you very much.

Recent DVD Purchases
Newlyweds - Season 2 and 3
Daria - Is It College Yet?
Road Warriors - Life & Death of the Most Dominate Tag Team in Wrestling HIstory
Reno 911 - Season 2

Songs of the Moment
Hitomi Shimitani - Papillon
Koda Kumi - Cutie Honey

2005-06-07T15:11:00.000-05:00

I have been having such an awesome week! But, I guess I shouldn't get too ahead of myself because I know things have to come back into order that I have to plan again. Now let the tidbits begin...

Happy Bday to Jen. Last night was fun and she was very funny all drunk. We got together for dinner at Outback, I got to eat a nice steak. Then after, we had fun at Dave and Busters. I hadn't been there in years and it was fun playing games all night. They had a new Pump It Up machine that I rocked on and Daniel and I beat this Ghost Recon game kind of like Time Crisis. We had basketball competitions all night that Rachel kicked our butts at and just had drinks and games all night. Jen was pretty gone which led to some hilarious photos of her.

How is it that I get a whole week off of one job and I'm still busy as ever? Yeah so I never really got a rest this week because I managed to catch up with things. So many more errands I have to do in addition to getting back into routine.

My cell phone doesn't seem to be working properly anymore, I can't get all my texts or send them at all either. Maybe it's time to update my phone... *sigh* I still love my Nokia 3650. The Nokia N90 looks really nice to me!

When did I become the token Asian person again? If I'm not hanging with the usuals or with the PFCAU (PF Changs Asian Union) I seem to be the token Asian, and at some times the token person of color. I just seem to realize that I seem to be reliving that role again.

Erica's surprise baby shower is in plan for later tonight. Hopefully she'll love it.

Big AU company picnic coming up soon. That'll be fun esecially with the plan. Mwahaha!

Harlie is awesome!

2005-06-03T20:09:00.000-05:00

Woke up today, and my layout is all messed up. So I decided to look up another skin and this is my new temporary one. In anticipation of the new Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess game, I chose this layout. The Zelda games have always been awesome and something I grew up with when I was little. I'll keep tweaking things until I find a new layout I like. Until then, I'm enjoying my time off! Almost 4000 hits!

2005-06-03T09:29:00.000-05:00

I've just had the best and funnest last couple of days that I've had in a long time!I hope it's been the same for someone else I know... ;)

2005-06-01T10:31:00.000-05:00

It looks like my days are numbered now at AMC. The other night during a very busy Memorial Day, I ended up accidentally taking out my frustrations on a concession till. I meant to hit the counter, but I guess I wasn't looking and I ended up cracking the screen and punching a nice hole into the very expensive screen. I would go into more details, but it happened anyway and now my fate is undecided about how to handle my punishment. So I guess I have to prepare for the worst...

But as the day went on, I kept hearing other news that ultiamtley lowered my chances of staying. To say that I"m not happy is true. After hearing nothing but good feedback from customers about how Star Wars night was handled and how many people learned my name, and how many people I got to meet, I read an email sent from home office about an unhappy customer pretty much hating how things were handled and found everything negative. It also read "the male with the microphone was very unprofessional saying hi to friends and family." Well, I also said hello to the new people I met and the nice conversations to the people waiting in line. Total strangers in each theatre saying hello and I was being ultimatley friendly as I knew it was a different night. Everyone was having fun, so why not make people happy and have fun as well.

It just figures, no matter how well I think I do at my job and how proud I felt about how things turened out and try to make things right, there will be someone that will bring it all tumbling down. Getting any negative feedback isn't good and I know no matter how much great comments I got at the end of that night, it seems very null and voided now.

On the other side of the pillow, everything is cooler. I have been talking to someone new now and it's going really well. When you talk till 6:30 in the morning, you have to be doing something right. So I'm very happy about that news, even with all the drama from other people that it might bring. I just hope we aren't oo different, even though we have tons of similarities. Maybe this summer is gonna start off right.

2005-05-30T04:55:00.000-05:00

Another weird sleepless episode, so that equals more random posting!

To all those that lewft me IM's... I fell asleep! So IM me again so I can keep track of yall. There were a few newbies trying to reach me and I didn't save your sn's.

So the weather was pretty bad earlier, the power went off a few times. Driving home was quite a trip, b/c I ran into a fire truck putting out a fire apparently started by the lightning hitting a tree. You could smell burnt wood as you drive away. The lightning was crawling the sky and kind of lit everything up. Gao... I hate the rain now. Just causes too much trouble.

So I decided to spend my Sunday morning watching a few movies. I finally got Team America watched and it's still as funny as ever. I found myself singing all the songs at work later on. Then I decided to watch Star Wars Episode 6: Return of the Jedi. I hadn't watched it the first time I bought the dvd box set, so I thought it would be appropriate wafter watching Episode 3 to finally watch the dvd. In fact, as I write this trying to fall asleep, I'm watching it right now.

I got to spend last night closing with this cool chic Harlie. I kept her company as she closed and we got to know each other a bit. We have a lot of similarites even though I think we seem pretty different. I laughed when she tripped a few times and when the phrase "watching movies" came up. Ummm gao-ish here. Earlier today, Casey asked what was wrong and I told her that I was thinking about things. It's hard to talk to her and try to be honest when you want to admit things.

Ah well forget it, I think I'm tired enough so of to sleep and a double work day on Monday...

gao...

2005-05-27T02:09:00.000-05:00

Can't sleep so, more randomness!

Congrats to Holly and Dave for their baby boy Riddick. I was one day short! Argh! Hope you feel better Holly.

I had a real productive day today so I'm proud of that. I was talking to a friend about how things are and how the ladies are treating me. And in actuallity, I kind of really wished I was in some sort of relationship instead of the dating. It feels like I have maybe four potentials and I know I should just go for it. Any one of them would be great. I mean girls saying that I'm cute or having a secret crush on me, I shouldn't let things like that go past my head. Next chance I get, I'm gonna go for it no matter what problems arrise. I need to think of me for once. Another thing would be if the other is into me, and if it'll work. It's just weird knowing a few of my friends are getting married or having kids or in their long relationships. I want to do all the sweet things again, I want to be thinking of one girl everyday again, I want to feel warm against another body again. I know my time will come again, so it's all good. This next girl is gonna be lucky, very lucky. All I got to do is acutally go for one...

I hate watching screenings by myself, probably why I didn't like going to them in a while. It's never fun being one in a 500 seat theatre. I would have loved to have some girl there to hold on to, and I was wishing for one of the four potentials. Who is it you ask? Well you might never know, just ask and maybe I'll say.

Arm still hurts a bit from giving blood, for 30 freakin minutes! I'm about to start another day and have a nice poker tourney tonight. Papa is gonna get rich!

Songs of the Moment
Mariah Carey - We Belong Together
Lazio Bane - Superman (Scrubs Theme Song) - great song, and it's something I tell myself all the time.

2005-05-23T23:05:00.000-05:00

Another quick update...

Holly's baby is coming soon, if it hasn't already. *Crosses fingers for 25th and 7' 11"*

I'm too tired from work... maybe because I'm working too hard and I don't ask for the recognition rather wait for it to come to me. I'm sorry I snapped at Joey, I was pissed off!

I'm trying to get into shape really quickly after being sick. I feel really good and I want to get into summer shape. I also need to get my cardio in after lying in bed every chance I get to rest. On a side note; Andrew and I are donating blood again tomorrow at Gulf Coast Regional. Giving blood is a great cause and every donation counts. I'm very behind giving blood so its very important to me. Someone needs my A+ blood, so why not. If you have any questions don't be afraid to ask. YOu can also go to GiveBlood.org for more information. Hey, they even give you free stuff for being generous.

So its pretty much all abs, arms, abs, arms... with a little bit of shoulders thrown in. I really feel like I'm fallin behind. Hell I couldn't even keep up my workout/diet journal b/c I was so busy. So since I have a lack of money, I need to focus again before I go and have fun. I wanted to join everyone at softball, but I needed to rest. Anyways, here's to good health! *toast*

Oh and by the way, I have amassed an army of girls that will come to combat my stalker, if it comes down to it. Oh man will it be hot! tee hee....

TAFN

2005-05-23T09:41:00.000-05:00

Woke up early and now I can't go to sleep.... so it's random update time. Not another full update, just random stuff from the past week.

Still having a few coughing problems. I'm getting better, but I think I might have hurt my throat with all the coughing a spitting. I can't even do my fake high voice or hit high notes when singing. I can't even do a WHOOO like Ric Flair without struggling.

Another busy week, especially with Star Wars Revenge of the Sith opening. Heavy lines and showings for the midnight show. I had the task of speaking to the crowds as well as coming up with a plan for $1 sales. Overall, I think I did a kickass job handling everything. Talked so much that I almost lost my voice, speaking to the crowds, meeting random people, and saying hi to all my friends.

Changs has been going well also. Getting great feedback from both customers and staff. Great stroy from last week when I shot pool with some of the folks there (if you were white, I kicked your ass at pool!) Went to Jill's afterward for a funny filled evening. Even got to watch Austin Powers Goldmember and I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. (I couldn't even laugh out loud b/c of my throat...).

I worked out for the first time last night since I've been sick. I got really tired really quick which got me angry. I know that since I was sick, that I would give my body rest and not to overexert myself until I got better. So in a way, it's typical for me to not feel good working out, but I feel its a setback. I need to do more yoga when I get the chance.

I bought the Scrubs Season 1 Box Set and I love it! It's been stuck in my dvd player ever since I got it. I miss watching this show and I'm glad I have it with me. But I'm really not watching anything else...

Need to watch:

Team America Unrated
Finding Neverland
Lavender

No more spending for a long time, I managed to use up close to $500 this last week. I bought my dvds, got another Creative Zen Micro, but the big killer that I wasn't planning on was paying to get our water back on. I came home with a note on the door saying out water was cut off. I ended up paying $242.23 for the fines, last months payment, and this months payment. It was frustrating because that the family thought I was obligated to pay for it just because I was the only one free to pay for it at the moment. Then a couple of days later, the A/C goes out and I couldn't sleep b/c it was so hot. I ended up sleeping on the hard wood floor downstairs with all the windows open and the fans on full blast. Oh and I only managed to get 3 hours of sleep that night. So no spending for a while, which means no new clothes, no new chair, no Sandlot on dvd, and no eating out for a while... *sigh*

Other random notes:
- Learned big news from a good friend of mine. I'm all happy for him because he has fallen madly in love. I hope I can help him out in any way.
- Is it possible to have two crushes at the same time? Yes... yes you can!
- I love getting drunk phone calls from ppl. I like messing with their heads.
- I finally got my union shirt!
- If being cocky can lead to confidence, I probably took a dose of confidence the last few days.
- Weirdest news, I think I have a stalker!!!

TAFN

Song of the Moment
Tevin Campbell - Can We Talk? (Hit from 1994 baby!)

2005-05-15T14:14:00.000-05:00

I'm still resting, so I did a few quizzes...

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Your Birthdate: December 2

Your birth on the 2nd day of the month adds a degree of emotion, sensitivity, and intuition to your life.

The 2 is a very social number allowing you to make friends easily and quickly.

Yet you are apt to have a rather nervous air in the company of a large group.

You have a warmhearted nature and emotional understanding that constantly seeks affection.

You are more prone than most to become depressed and moody, as emotions can turn inward and cause anxiety and mental turmoil.

It can be hard for you to bounce back to reality when depression sets in.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Hell Yeah!

2005-05-15T09:16:00.000-05:00

So it's about 7:30 am on Sunday morning. Why am I up right now? It's because I've been coughing my lungs out since 5am, that's why! So my body is having a little breakdown after the last few weeks; late night studying, finals, working double on mother's day, early days and late nights, trying to workout. I guess my insticnt told me that I needed the weekend off, even when I did keep it open ahead of time for Elizabeth orignally. So even though I'm fighting every instinct to go to the gym, or pick up a shift for work, or even do a few pushups or squats... I need to rest and relax. I can barely talk right now, even though I want to talk everyone's head off.

I guess I'll post, randomness coming up.

Although I did fight off instinct on Thursday night after watching Kicking and Screaming. Quoc, Andrew, Jason, Peter and myself went to Lifetime where we met up with Chris and played a little 3 on 3 basketball. Now, I should have told myself that I'm not feeling all that well and should have sat it out. But I said screw it and decided to play. I was sweating big time, but played like a pro. Hey, I was no Yao Ming but for one moment I sure felt like Mutumbo when I leaped like an eagle in the air to reject a shot in Peter's face as we went crashing to the floor. It was 12 am when we started then maybe areound 1:30 we went upstairs to workout. It was my first in a week and my body was feeling it. I kept drinking water and even afterwards I went to the steam room to relax. It was the hottest it has ever been, even hotter when it blasts steam up your towel... Got home at 3am and realized I had to open the restaurant in the morning. So I decided to watch Whose Line to fall asleep to, but when you laugh you can't fall asleep. I fianlly passed out either from laughing or exhaustion then woke up to work.

So I had lunch the other day with Shannon and her mom. It was so nice to just have a nice meal and conversation with nice people. It's like I'm a member of another family, like a brother-in-law or cousin or something. It's difficult to explain, but it was heartwarming. I like having that family feel when technically they aren't your family. I feel like that when I talk to John and Jason's mom, or when Phil's family asks about me. After lunch, Shannon and I decided to do a bit of shopping. I've been saying to myself lately "Car is paid off, no girlfriend, no dates in a while, making lots of money.... I'm gonna buy myself something!" I've actually been buying a few nice things for myself since I paid off my last car payment. More specifiically, I've been buying clothes. Nice clothes! Diesel, Versace, FCUK are my main brands right now. I'm getting tons of compliments, even from total strangers, it's a great feeling. And I think I look pretty damn good in my new threads! Haha!

One thing I realized this past week, I miss talking to Val. We caught up a few times and I just miss her sometimes. I ask her if things are going ok and she does the same. She always wants to know about the new girl in my life, whether I have one or not. She wants to know how my workouts are going or how my day has been. I sometimes wish she would ask me for a bit more help, financially for her and Erik. She knows she owes me already, so that's probably why. She doesn't want to add to the debt she owes me, but I'm in no hurry for a payback from her. Maybe I can barter with her for personal massages... I miss getting those. When she gave me one the other day for about 5 minutes, I was in soreness bliss.

Ugh, I'm a big flirt... I really try not to be, but I can still get giggles out of a few girls with relative ease. Even just looking at them has made me a flirt. Leonela the other day called me a pimp and she told me that was good because I'm hot. I took that has something bad, because I don't want to be some pimp. I just want to be the best I can be. Even Val told me that I was just so damn cute, and she's a married woman! This relatively new girl Harlie just said that she has a secret crush on me. I'm getting those weird looks, and I know it has lead me to trouble in the past, but at least it was fun. Joey keeps calling me a pimp and I just feel like it's not true when I hear him say it. Hey, you're supposed to try to get me and hot Rachel together, get to it! Maybe I should just roll with it and just be myself. I don't brag about girls, I brag about girlfriends as the past few should know. I'm just waiting for the next goddess, that's all.

I wanted to wish someone a happy bday yesterday. I tried to give her a call, maybe be the first to say happy bday to her but just left a message. I really didn't know what to say so I just kept it short. I wonder if if she got it, I wonder if she thought of me. I haven't thought of her in a long time... "Say Anything" was on tv... I guess a small part of me still does miss her when I think about it. I remember last year and.... nevermind, I don't want to talk about it.

So in between typing this, I've been reading blogs and journals of friends, but mostly random people. It's nice sometimes, but I have to wonder about some people...

So while resting, I've done a lot of wondering and thinking of plenty of things. I wish I had an ear to talk about these things to. If there was something I really miss, that's just having someone to talk to, deep talks not the "hey how you been's?".... it would be nice to have that person in your arms as you watch tv on the couch or as you lay in bed together.

It's now 9am and I'm getting tired again, so maybe I'll end this one. No go backs or proofreading, my mind is getting to random so all of this probably doesn't make any sense to anyone but me.

TAFN
Allen Ragasa

My Current Theme Song
Rob Thomas - Lonely No More

2005-05-13T15:00:00.000-05:00

Yes, I know. I can remember last year like it was yesterday. I remember almost to a tee, every little detail of what I was doing. What I wanted to do, to make someone I loved really happy. It's funny how you can remember some of the most happiest of memories no matter what has happened or how much time has gone by. Even though I myself have been busy with everything, my mind also keeps busy making sure that I don't forget new things as well as the past.

I said this would be a long post, but I don't have the time to place all of my thoughts and I have to run a bunch of errands too.

TAFN
Allen Ragasa

2005-05-11T11:06:00.000-05:00

Phew! This rough semester is finally over... too bad I'm not done with school. Well at least I don't have to worry until after the summer. Problem is now, i'm unbelievably exhausted... Mother's Day was a big killer since I had a double and my allergies are kicking my butt. I'm not sick but I have a huge nagging cough. It sucks because I can't really control breathing for workouts. So instead of continuing my routine of school, work, and gym... I decided to take a few days off to catch up and give my body some rest. Maybe I'll do more yoga...

Anyways, with the next post I'm not sure it should be a positive post or a depressing post. I've actually had a little of both lately and I wasn't sure what to write about, nor did I have the time to do it. Either way, it will be a big post.

TAFN

2005-04-30T14:06:00.000-05:00

DAMNIT!

Well, I dropped my Creative Zen Micro (my mp3 player) while I was at the gym on the hard wood floor yesterday. Now, I've dropped it a few times before but no harm came to it, but this time it actually shut down on me and now I can't get it to work anymore. Gao... I really loved my Zen Micro, and now I'll probably have to send it in.

Now, my internet is acting up and lagging big time lately and I wonder what's going on. There shouldn't be any problems b/c it'll be off and on every so often, but it adds to the problems and something else I have to work on.

I also was having a bit of internal conflict with myself b/c my confidence level fluctuates from extreme highs to botton-of-the-barrel lows. Rollercoaster confidence isn't good, but I don't know how much longer I want to be on this ride. I guess I need a reason to continue now.

The only thing good right now is that the semester is coming to a close and that I haven't lost much in my pool skills minus a few beers...

TAFN

By the way - Matt Hardy V1 > Edge V1! Forever. Edge and Lita are scum, Edge is psycho and Lita is a stupid bitch.

Now, TAFN.

2005-04-29T19:51:00.000-05:00

Testing new layout... after a few hours, I will finish later...

Actual post will come later.

2005-04-27T02:03:00.000-05:00

I had hurt myself for the first time at the gym on Saturday. I really thought that I might have overdone it with my back strengthening exercises. I was in so much pain that I had to lie down for a long time and stretch. I spent 15 minutes on the treadmill to keep moving, hoping to continue my workout later. My back tightened up so much that I thought I was about to cry because I was in so much pain. I was really frustrated, I never hurt myself since I started working out again and here I was lying on the floor breathing hard hoping I didn't hurt myself. After I felt ok, I tried to continue my workout, with no such luck. I was really pissed at myself for hurting my back, so I decide to relax in the spa hoping the water jets can help massage my back. I ended up sleeping on the floor that night to help out as well.

The next day, I was pretty sore at work. Lifting those heavy trays made sure of it. So I'm just thinking it was gonna be sore for a while. Thank goodness, so I think I'll take it easy the next few times I get to the gym. It sucks because I really want to turn it up and push it more when it comes to working out. I like how I'm looking now, but I feel like I'm going too slow, I want more mass and development. The sooner the better...

BitTorrent is so freakin awesome! If you don't know by now, its a peer 2 peer program kind of like Kazaa but better as it helps if you share with others. The more you share, the faster your downloads can be. A lot of things can be found using bittorrent, so I recommend that everyone try this out, if you haven't already. Just remember to give back to the torrent community and keep those windows open after you complete your file. It is truly a genius program.

BitTorrent Sites

BitTorrent - Official - The creator's official site and the first and original program.
Azureus Java BitTorrent Client - A Java client, customizeable. My fave.
BitTornado - I used this one before Azureus. It resembles the original but can be customized.
AnimeSuki - The site for Anime Fansubs.
Tokyo Toshokan - Anime, music, manga, music videos
#AznMP3 - Jpop singles and albums
Jpopsuki - Jpop music and videos
HongFire Torrents - Anime, music, games, vidoes and a great group of people in the forums.
TorrentSpy.com - Everything!

Pop Japan JAM Tour 2005 - *sigh... if I only had the money to go...

TAFN

Song of the Moment
move - Ghetto Blaster

2005-04-25T23:51:00.000-05:00

GO ROCKETS!!!
2-0 Baby!
Playoff action, its fantastic! I miss watching basketball and its a good thing that I kept a little in touch with it. Sports are freaking awesome!

Song of the Moment
Gwen Stefani - Hollaback Girl - Click for Lyrics

2005-04-20T17:59:00.000-05:00

On the road to financial recovery! After a nice three days at work, I was able to make around $250 in tips so after another week I can make up for the big increase in debt in the last few weeks.

Holly's baby shower was fun. Thanks to Chantelle, Jennifer, and Jessica for putting on a fun little party. We played the lei game where everyone had leis, but if you said the word "baby" you would have to give it up. I ended up 2nd at the end only to be beaten by Ryan. We played some matching games like what animals are called in their baby form. We also had to taste what kind of flavor certain baby foods were. Too bad I didn't eat any of it! It was hilarious though. We also have a betting pool about when the baby will be born and how much it'll weigh. I went for the May 25th at 7lbs 11 ounces. Holly and Dave got tons of great gifts and other things for the baby, so I'm glad they got a lot.

I also learned some pretty eventful news from John. I'm very proud of him. John and Tricia are just very lucky to be in love. That and what Keith and I were talking about the last few days, it kind of makes me feel like I'm being left behind. I guess I'm ok with that, but it was weird because I was at the baby shower thinking about that, everyone there had been in a relationship or is married or is having a baby with the exception of Jennifer and me.

Another good customer review, I helped a table of old ladies and one had a bday. They kept saying how I did a good job and even let Mike know about me. I even got a hug from the bday lady.

Freakin Ebay! I knew I shouldn't have started buying things off of them again. I decided to look up some Diesel and FCUK shirts and found some nice looking shirts for cheap. So I decided to bid on a few and it wasn't until I lost the first few shirts is when I decided to keep trying. Now I have eight new shirts coming within the next two weeks.

I guess since I don't have to pay for anymore car payments, deciding to not go out on dates for a while, increase in tips... I think I'll spoil myself for a bit. New clothes is a start. Since I have new clothes coming, shopping last week and new shopping coming up soon I think I'll be pimping myself out for now. And IMO I look freaking good in my new outfits! Haha! No slouching for a while, keep pushing keep going at 100% and I'll be ok.

Forgot to add, went Sam's Boat karaoke with Joey, Jen, and Leah. I'm not alwaays too fond of the bar scene, but it's ok when I'm with good ppl like them. It was fun and hilarious when certain trainers showed up and got to drunk and started singing really bad karaoke.

Now I need some rest... TAFN.

Song of the Moment
BoA - Do The Motion

2005-04-16T21:15:00.000-05:00

Some Random Cool Sites

Very funny
http://gprime.net/video.php/nintendothemesacappella

Acapella Nintendo Themes
http://www.nintendopella.com/

Why should you switch to Firefox? This is why!
http://planetfox.org/switch.php

Speed Up Firefox - FireTune
http://www.totalidea.com/freestuff4.htm

Tokyo Toshokan - Torrent Listing
http://www.tokyotosho.com/

FCUKing Awesome Clothes!
http://www.frenchconnection.com/

Ultimate Gaming Room
http://www.nescapades.com/gameroom.htm

Ultimate Arcade Room
http://www.peterhirschberg.com/arcade/gameroom.htm

2005-04-15T01:59:00.000-05:00

I have no idea why I'm writing this...

Sometimes I know I can't control certain things that happen around me. I just wish I could, you know. I look back on some things and I wished I could have more control over things.

There is a girl that I don't talk to anymore that if you asked me a few months ago, I would have told you that she could have been the next girl. I didn't care what other people said because she didn't care either. Also, she helped me a few times when I was down, and I did the same for her. I wished again I had more control at the time because I would have been more bold and did what I wanted instead of what I thought was the right thing to do.

Now we don't even talk. I really don't know what happened, maybe I moved on to another girl, maybe she moved on to another guy, I don't know really. It sucks that we can only just say hi and that's all.

One thing that might have gone wrong is the friends. Now, I don't mean to sound selfish or anything but I would like it when a girl makes me feel wanted, a big part of her world. Unfortunately, I can't fight against all of her friends. They don't like me and if I got too close they would make sure they let her know how much of a jackass I was. I don't know what I did to deserve that rep, but that's what I have to deal with. Hell, I even make sure that a girl knows what they think about me first now. I want her to make her decision and learn about me despite what others say and have her know me, the real me.

I thought she would take that chance, then I would have been superb. It is something I shouldn't have put her through. Choosing between her friends or me? Was I so full of myself to think she would choose me over her friends? Plus, her friends like her so much, no matter how juvenile, moronic, and shady they are. God, I feel so embarrassed at some of the things I did because of her. That letter? What the hell was I thinking?

The reason why I'm prolly thinking of this is because of the current girl I'm thinking of. Maybe I can't tell her how I feel, no matter how bold I want to be and tell her. Maybe I can't live up to some of her past. Maybe another girl just could fit the bill. I don't know, maybe just I need something right now that'll mean something.

I guess that lonely bug got to me big time tonight...

TAFN

2005-04-14T01:51:00.000-05:00

Just found out about this...

Link 1

Link 2

Abigail Ivy DeLeon

I knew her back throughout high school and middle school. We weren't the closest or anything, but we hung out in similar groups. She was always nice to me and was very full of life. Always the shortest one, but the most talkative and hyper most of the time. It was cute, and especially cute on her. I don't know what happened, but it was a shock to hear. We always want the best for people that we lose touch with...

Rest in peace Abby
May 21, 1981- April 11, 2005

2005-04-13T16:48:00.000-05:00

So I owe about $500 in taxes this year... *sigh* I think I miessed up somewhere... oh well.

Well this is gonna put a kink in the already dwindling account after this month has started. Had to pay for new tires, taxes, final car payment... now I'm gonna go get Holly and Dave a baby shower gift. On top of that, I'm not gonna be working with finals coming soon. Maybe I should splurge now and make it up during May...

Bought new clothes today, tomorrow is new shoes and baby shower gift.

Gao...

2005-04-11T23:12:00.000-05:00

Random notes...

At Changs today, I was hitting it off with our customers. Being friendly just seems to work and makes working there a lot better. Sometimes it pays off with big tips. But for me, I guess its better because when you work at the theatre, all people want is free stuff and bitch at you until they get their way without even letting you explain. So when conversing with the clients at Changs, it make it more personable. To top it off, one of the families had the cutest little girl at the table, in fact she was bouncing off the walls. I learned a lot about them and how the little girl was allergic to wheat. What made it memorable was that the mom (who was freakin gorgeous by the way) said that the little girl drew me a picture. It was of her and her name is Madison. I said "awww thanks" and I think I'm gonna keep it in my checkbook. I leave some things that are important like a few pics and now Madison's drawing. It'll be a reminder of how being nice still means something to people, even strangers that will become a future aquaintance.

I think I'm addicted to working out now. Most people have a bad addiction like smoking, but I think I'll make training and workouts my addiction. I'm liking how my body is developing, so I just have to turn it up a notch and keep going. Also, I feel like I have to get better. Everytime I'm not training or working, I feel like someone else is getting ahead of me. So I have to push myself harder and harder, physically and mentally. Plus, it wouldn't hurt with the ladies if I had a cut form. I know they say looks don't matter, but I feel like that phrase doesn't hold as much to me as it used to.

Eating hasn't become cheap either. Constantly eating is getting tough as to years ago, I can eat just chips all day. Well those days are over as I need the fuel to keep going and going. Getting the right foods isn't cheap, as well as fruits and veggies and milk and juice. Also, I don't always have time to make food, so I have to buy some fast food, but after some research, I found out what is good as opposed to ordering a meal made of grease.

So Thomas ran into me at work the other day. It was good to see an old friend, even though we aren't close like back in the day. Thank goodness that he's still alive. I always worry about my friends in the military. We caught up a bit, he told about his girl in the military, how Emma is married, and that he still keeps in touch with Jeannie. For some reason, I felt like I was left behind life-wise because all I do is work and school. I told him about the last couple of dates I had, but I just wished I had something more to brag about and be proud of.

I'm in the preliminary stages of putting a beach house/lake house party sometime in the summer. If anyone has any ideas or any information on getting a place, let me know.

Had a funny exchange at work the other night. Judy bit my abs!... but that wasn't the main story. Ms. Harrison, Keith, Mr.s G and I were eating dinner one night and Keith decides to talk about stuff in our pasts and sort of rib each other about it. He goes off on talking about my history with the girls. I really didn't want to get into it, but he went on about it and it wasn't bad at all. In fact I was a bit flattered. He even said that my Valetine's Days are ideas of legend. I had to keep it real by putting myself down and calling myself a slut-bucket. Heh heh!

Getting drunk phone calls from people are fun, drunk text messages too. :) Those that know, know who I"m talking about.

Looks like it's time for another late nite workout...
TAFN

Song of the Moment
UVERworld - "D-tecnolife" Bleach 2nd Intro

Been so freakin busy...

2005-04-09T02:57:00.000-05:00

So many things going on, been so busy so I haven't had time to update, so here's a quick round up...

Feeling very energetic lately, even though I feel really sleepy in the mornings. I try not to nap much because I need to stay awake instead of waste time sleeping. Havne't been to yoga in a long time and this might have something to do with it but American Idol is getting in the way of yoga class. Damn you American Idol!

Although, I am getting used to working out at the gym late at night. I get free range to use everything there without much insecurity from the gym rats there. Linda and Mike were there and it was fun to try out some of the equipment like the speed bikes. I am feeling in awesome shape even though I hadn't been to the gym in a week. I'm reminded of the shape I was in back in my freshman year in high school. In fact, I know that I'm gonna put more hours into the gym because I have to make up for the classes and exams coming up soon.

Gave blood a few weeks ago and it feels good! And my cholesterol level is down a lot too. I'm gonna donate whenever I can. www.giveblood.org is an excellent site, and I think more people should donate. You get coverage on your whole family as well as help others that need blood, plasma, platelettes, anything.

Almost 3000 hits! I wonder who all is reading...?

Got my haircut again... Looking good "mushroom head"! It looks like I shaved off a few years off of my head.

New Fry's is open! This place is freakin nice, its like Best Buy times 10. Also, an old friend, Edward works there. I'm gonna see if I can him to help out with my parnets with getting a computer.

I had some extra money after paying off my credit card bills, so I bought my parents a stand-alone dvd burner, that'll record their tapes to dvd and I hope that'll help them out. I bought a new dvd burner for myself as well. Now I've been burning dvds like a fanatic, haven't copied any though :) I decided that my first few dvds will be anime, and the first series was AIR. Wow, its like watching real dvd quality episodes. The next series I might do is Initial D 4th Stage. I've been on a dvd making frenzy.

Speaking of AIR... the series is over and a spin off is being made called AIR Summer based of the story of the winged girl Kanna. AIR was such a wonderful series for me to watch. It was a great contrast as the stories were set in the summer time and aired during the winter. Plus, it was such a sweet and also sad story that brought tears to people's eyes that got into the characters. What a beautiful story... based off the same story in the videogame AIR, the anime version was well done, both in excellent animation, color, and soundtrack. Unfortunately, the game has more background to the story from what I'm told, and that it's in 100% japanese. It was one of those shows that you wished you had someone there to share it with you. Someone to hold as the emotions run over you, and someone to reflect your point of view of the story... *Ahem* anyways...

Jason and I got to go to a sold out Smackdown last Tuesday and it was a blast. Last one before Wrestlemania 21 and it was an awesome show. Everyone was into it, lots of real fans. Jason scored us some great seats on the arena floor across the ring from the entry way. And we would have made it on TV if the jerk in front of us didn't wave his sign every 5 seconds... Jason was a bit out of it as it went pretty long and he was worried about Sandra and how she had to drop a class. He was very concerned for her. I kind of envy his situation with her, not that I'm jealous or anything but I wished I had a girl that I was really close to that wasn't always a girlfriend. I sort of have that but it's not an everyday thing... *Ahem* anyways...

Wrestlemania 21 was freakin awesome. Hulk Hogan had me jumpin out of my seat like I was 5 again cheering him on. Also the Angle/Michaels match stole the show. Even though I grew up as an HBK fan, Kurt Angle rules, It's True, It's True!

Could there be a new girl I'm going for? Probably, but it's too soon to take it seriously. Looks like Jen and Justin might happen, hopefully I can help out both in a good way. Elizabeth asked me to go to her prom. I said sure, but I'm only a backup in case her first choice can't make the trip from Cali.

It's late now, and that's all I can really think of.

TAFN
ADPO

Song Of the Moment
Selena - Dreaming Of You

10 years later, and this song is still beautiful, just like the first time I heard it...

2005-04-08T09:37:00.000-05:00

Freakin spring time.... bugs and allergies.

*sigh* Looks like I've been getting bit by the lonely bug a lot lately...

TAFN

Spring Break 2005

2005-03-23T13:18:00.000-06:00

Spring Break 2005

Sunday - Alrighty here we go, spring break started off really well beginning on Sunday with Phil's Poker Night! Lots off people showed up again and we thank you for coming and having fun with us. Some people showed up late, so in the mean time, we watched Dateline that did a story about the cleanest fast food places. I don't remember the exact order but I know out of 10, McDonalds ended up at #10. The top 3 places were:

#3 - Wendy's
#2 - Taco Bell
#1 - Jack in the Box
(Whoo hoo! Three of my fave fast food places are top 3, or top tier!)

Click here to see the complete survey and where your favorite ranks.

Funny story, after Phil's I went to get some food from Wendy's and while I was driving up to pay, the girl there asked to touch my hair. I let her and told her to go wash her hands afterwards. She said that she's fine because she doesn't touch the food. So much for being number three...

Anyways, when we got things rolling on poker, everyone was once again having fun while being competitive. The best hand of the night went to me with four Queens! Yea well that's about all I had that night as I didn't end up bigger winner. And so ends my winning streak at three. Congrats goes out to Quoc and Peter as Quoc came in 2nd and Peter 1st, even with his stupid bandana on....

After I got out, I ended up playing Mouse Trap with Phil, Jason and Sandra. I ended up outlasting Sandra at the end, so a victory for me at Mouse Trap! Then we had a quick game of Scene It, where Phil top-teir'ed us and ending up winning.

Here are a few pics from that night. Click for a bigger version:

Our happy host Phil!

Tension at the main table. Look at all my chips!

Mouse Trap Time!

Monday - Monday I spent the day after work with Gabby, as she wanted to fix up my hair. She's been wanting to do it for a long time but we always were busy. So we finally go to her house and she hooks me up. It was nice, I met her mom and she was very nice. Then while she was working on me, I got to watch some cool spanish soap opera with these five hot daughters. I understood almost every other word there while Gabby tried to keep translating for me. Gabby and I talked for a while too and we laughed at what's been going on lately.

Tuesday - Tuesday was the release of the Incredibles. I always love Pixar movies, they have great stories, animation, music, sound, everything. The Incredibles is just what is, incredible both as a dvd and movie.

Wednesday - Wednesday was Gran Turismo 4 LAN Party at Andy's. We had 5 PS2's to work with, but only a four-port router so we only hooked up for 4 players. It was one hella fun night as we raced each other. Andrew pretty much top-teir'd us since he's played the most of GT4. We later had a demolition derby as two players would race while the other two would go in reverse to slam into the others. The result were some pretty sweet crashes and hilariuos moments. Afterwards, we headed out to Lifetime for a late-night workout till 3:30 in the morning.

Here's some pics:

Look at all the TV's and Linda taking a pic

Intense but fun racing action!

What's up?!?

Thursday - Happy St Patrick's Day! I had lunch with Phil and Linda at PF Chang's that morning. Linda wanted to work at Chang's, she asked me about it the last night while we were working out. So she met Mike and applied while we had lunch. Thursday was Tekken 5 Night! Once again held at Andy's but it was all Tekken 5 for the fighters of the night. We had tournaments and team battles. I didn't do so well as I didn't get a ton of play time. But I did improve my Asuka skills and even pulled out Sexy Asuka with her outfits and distracted some of the players. Face Slam!

Friday - Friday was a busy day. The Wrestlemania Tour was at the mall and Jason and I thought we would stop by to check it out. Booker T was the main attraction and the hometown wrestler. He was very cool and nice to everyone in line. He must be happy since he got married just recently. Got to talk to him for a little bit and he was very cool. Hillbilly Jim and Ron Simmons were also there as well.

Board Game Night at Andy's again. It was really fun with the most people turning out for this night. We started the night off with Scene It - TV Edition. I pretty much taught everyone how to play the game and went through the motions. It was really tough, as I think the TV edition is the hardest one that I have played. It had old tv shows as well as new. The first question was a Seinfeld question and it was easy. There were also tv commercial questions that were pretty good.

We later broke out the Disney Scene It that everyone got into. We had four big teams and were really competitive, but having fun as well. Lots of questions and lots of yelling answers. Lots of Monsters Inc stuff and lots of unfair questions. We later played the celebrity game which was a lot of fun. Very very competitive and funny as well. I messed up with a few "Um's" and there were lots of repeats. Funniest clue of the night was "I was black, now I'm white and I rape little kids." We also learned of Andy's stange fetish with Brad Pitt... *shrugs* We also broke out the Simpsons Life as that was also fun as well.

Here are some pics:

Json!

Booker T and Me

The sweet Wrestlemania Tour Bus

Jason Representing

"Those that stayed late" Group Shot

Saturday - Saturday was a rest day for me. I started feeling my back ache earlier in the week, so I ended up napping on the floor. It wasn't orignally supposed to be a rest day but things got changed around. Gabby wanted to take a bunch of people out clubbing and I was supposed to go with them, but people started cancelling on her. She wasn't too happy about that. Then Jen and I were giong to hangout but she got held up at her dad's place. So I spent the day just relaxing my sore self and watching the Incredibles. Also, AIR episode 11 came out! One more to go and the series just gets more powerful and emotional as it goes. *sigh* So sad as it goes.

Well it was a great week in my opinion. I learned that I can still have wholesome clean fun and that it's better that way sometimes. I can balance out my fun with my other friends another time, it's just I don't want to deal with too much drama with them. I'm sorry that I couldn't hangout with everyone like I wanted to. I wish I got to hang with certain people. The least said about Austin, the better. Man, back to the regular routine...

Click here to check out the rest of my pics from Spring Break

TAFN
ADPO

Last few weeks, minus Spring Break

2005-03-20T21:32:00.000-06:00

Well the week of March 6 was National Procrastination Week, in an effort to do away with procrastinating and keep on the ball with whatever you might be doing. Well, that didn't go well for me, as I was finishing up projects all week when I should have done them a long time ago. So I lost a lot of ground with my routines during these past two weeks, with Spring Break following. I have probably gone to the gym twice in the last two weeks which is NOT GOOD! My body is already feeling it, as I've been staying up late and going out a lot. I've missed yoga for the last three weeks and that is hurting me as well. My back is all in knots, with no one to undo them for me. :( I also need to stop taking naps as they are killing me and making me stay up all night.

Hair looks great now. Not many people notice, big thanks to Gabby for hookin me up. It's nice that we can still hangout a lot and that I get a lot of trust from her and her friends and family. She's my club girl and dance partner... good thing I like going more now. Probably not best because I send out drunk text messages, but its ok.

Probably going to stop going out on dates for a while. It's burning a hole in my wallet, plus it's too much trouble because of the insecurity and the trying to make yourself look good. It's sometimes to time consuming and even to some extent, time wasting. It's tough spending time on something when you know it won't go farther, even if you are having a good time. But mostly, I'm having money issues and it gets hard to impress on a cheap night. I will still take out my good friends and always make room if I can for some good conversation.

March may be the last month to have some fun, with more tests coming up and finals as well. Smackdown will probably be the last thing I do for a long time as I need to concentrate more. Jason and I can't wait for Smackdown, and it's almost in a week.

Best network on tv.... Food Network! Can't ever find anything to hate about that network. Plus, I learn something new everytime I watch it. Oh, and Iron Chef kicks ass! Which reminds me; eat, Allen eat!

I'll be donating blood again tomorrow. Whoo hoo! Also, I feel like getting a dog. Don't know why really... Getting settled back into work/gym/class routine again. Man I need to push it to the limit again.

I'll talk about Spring Break in next post.

That's All For Now... (TAFN)
Aight Dude Peace Out! (ADPO)

2005-03-17T13:13:00.000-06:00

Quick update...

This is the coldest spring break ever...

Things need to talk about:
Work
Poker Night
GT 4, Tekken 5 nights
AIR, Bleach, Incredibles
Other random stuff...

I wasn't sure if I wanted to put up a positive post or a depressing post up the other day. I'm sure I'll make my decision soon. More likely it'll be a good one. So spring break continues... let me know, if you want to know.

That's all for now...

ADPO

2005-03-07T19:07:00.000-06:00

So this last week went by as a blur... can't remember if I was super lazy or super busy.

Looking Forward To...
Jessica's Wedding... Well I totally forgot that Jessica's wedding is this saturday. I really thought it was a month away. So now I feel like I have to find a date by saturday, right when I decided to put off dating and such on hold for a while. And the worst part is that I'm working that morning and I'll probably miss the actual wedding. It might be good that way, because they are planning to go out afterwards, maybe dancing or something. I might end up being the stag person out of all her friend's there and I hope I don't get all depressed while I'm there. Gao... anyways I'm happy to see a friend happy on her big day and that'll be the important thing.

Spring Break... whether I'm out of town, out "On" the town, or playing poker and games with friends. It's gonna be something fun and I hope it doesn't go away too soon. Plus, it sucks that some ppl have different spring break weeks.

Donating blood... Andrew and I are trying to make it a thing now. I always donated before and I think its very noble and warm-hearted thing to do. Last time, I didn't have anyone to donate with. Blood doner for life baby!

Friends Season 9... The new box set is coming out tomorrow and it caught me off guard. I didn't realize it was coming out so soon but I have to get it being a big fan. I have mixed feeling because it's not one of my favorite seasons, along with season 1, but it has it's funny shows. I still have the first season unopened thinking I could save that for a special person or time. Maybe I'll wait for the 10th set to come out before I actually watch the first season, make it a marathon for a few weeks.

More funny stuff from the ppl at Liquidgeneration:

Don't know what else to say.... so that's all for now

I think I'm giving up on fish... etc

2005-03-03T13:54:00.000-06:00

Gao... my stomach has been killing me the last few days and its probably the fried fish I had! Damn, and I really like fish... but I guess not for a while anymore.

So while I'm bed-ridden for a bit, I'm gonna update. Randomness begins now:

Anime Currently Watching
AIR
Ah! My Goddess
Bleach
Initial D 4th Stage
Kanon
Naruto
Samurai Champloo
Xenosaga

Things I Need To Do
Go to the bank.
Pay off more bills.
Gain those 12 lbs, not that fish is gonna help me now.
Try to catch up with those I have lost touch with.
Six sun salutations everyday.
Take random pics with my camera, I haven't used it in a long time.
Get some low-lites.
Clean up the damn room.

Typical Week
School 4 times a week.
Gym 3 to 5 times a week.
Changs 3 to 5 times a week.
AMC 3 times a week at most.
Protien shakes 1-2 times a day, milk or water.
Creatine shakes 1-2 times a day, with juice or soda.

Other Notes
I have to stop sending out drunk text messages, I just realized how many I send out after I this weekend.
Work on the massive flirting... it may be too much.
Work on more flirting. I know that goes against the previous sentence, but some girls are really getting mad... and I don't know why. *shrugs*
As for the crush I had a few months ago, I guess that was long gone. Even though ppl ask about her still, I just feel a little frustrated. I guess she doesn't have any time for me or I'm too busy for her. I should have known from the start anyway, and I think I lost a few months in thought about being careful when I should have just gone for what I wanted.

By the way, if anyone has any good pics of me let me know. I just realized that I don't have very many good pics of me...

Where is my goddess?

That's all for now...

My Theme Song
L'Arc-en-Ciel - Ready Steady Go!

New Layout, Gran Turismo 4 Pics and more

2005-02-28T22:13:00.000-06:00

Ok big update for all. First off is a new look. It's pretty badass as Itachi from Naruto. Most people won't know who he is, but he's a popular character from the anime called Naruto. The only bad thing is it locked out my comments, so after failing at getting them back, I just put up a Tagboard. Please feel free to leave comments there. If you want to add your site, leave me a message as well. Also, no videos as I'll use those every so often. Old links such as my old picture albums are gone, as they usually just bring up past memories. Out of site, out of mind.

Constantly in battle, that's how I feel ATM. Whether it be at work, or dealing with people, or even with myself... I feel like I've been knocked back down to the ground and have to pull myself back up, only to be knocked down again. I guess my lifestyle will be up and down with long plaetues in between.

Somethings that I haven't liked in the last week or so.... Tana is gone from AMC and that makes me sad. She was one cool cat that I got along with and also could confide in. She always asked what was up with me, and made sure I was doing ok. I thank her for putting a lot of trust in me, when she couldn't with the others. I also learned that Nadia will be leaving soon. She said it was a secret and it was nice of her to confide it to me. I'm already disappointed that she'll be leaving. One, she's always so nice to me, and we can talk about things. Two, she's very beautiful and it'll suck to not see her face around at work. Three, she did a small, but very thoughtful thing for my bday a few months ago hat really left an impression on me.

I was sick most of the week, and a bit is still left. Body is hurt. Also, I lost three pounds because I was sick! I had gained one pound and thought that was tough. I was pissed about that because my goal was to gain 10 lbs. So now to meet my goal and make that up and get 12 lbs. And trying to bulk up isn't cheap....

I'm tired of dating... it's gettin gme nowhere and I'm frustrated by it. I guess I'm missing just having a girlfriend, but then again maybe I don't.

Accopmlishments of the past week or so....

Poker night was l33t! It was awesome and it was cool hearing from everyone that they had lots of fun. Phil's family joined us all and made thigns great. Also we had beginners that had fun as well, and we all taught Tricia how to play which was cool. Big thanks to Phil for letting us hold it at his place. Oh and who came out with the most money??? Me of course! I'm the man and the streak is at three now. Shannon hustled her way to second taking the rest of the money home with her. She scared everyone with her JLo glasses of her, but they didn't phase me. By the way, the next poker night at Phil's is planned for March 13th the Sunday before spring break so I shouldn't hear any excuses for not showing up. Let's try for $20 buy-ins this time. Let me know if you want to play, so I can get you on the list.

Went to the gym five times this week! And it paid off for me. I was wearing my pimp shirt, which I hadn't worn in a long time. And, all the girls loved it! I love it when they feel up the shirt and say "ooohhh!"

Getting that American Idol fever again... mmm that Carrie Underwood, very beautiful...

I bought my parents a $400 DVD Recorder with an 120 gig hard drive. The Things I could do with something like that, but I hope this will help them out at the store.

My big return to console games comes in the form of Gran Turismo 4. It has also become my new addiction. It is such an awesome game and to not be caught up in it would be hard for me to resist. Andy is getting a LAN party set up soon during spring break and I hope I can make it. He's also got some other party plans and it'll be fun to go again. As you can see, there is a photo mode in the game where you can show your pimped ot cars in gorgeous settings. Here are a few pics that I took, they are awesome. Click on them for a larger view.

Night time

My RX-7 at the Grand Canyon

Another shot of my RX-7

Nismo lookin sweet!

That's all for now...

Songs of the Moment
From my new fave anime, Bleach:

Orange Range - *~Asterisk
Rie Fu - Life Is Like A Boat
Home Made Kazoku - Thank You!!

Another Big Gao...

2005-02-20T02:03:00.000-06:00

Gao... so I'm still a bit sick. It's been a long time since I've gotten sick, so I'm pissed that I am. You don't plan for it, and it slows everything down, and I feel like I have to kill myself just so I can function. Ah well, I'll feel better soon, hopefully. I still feel a bit like my previous posts, just not as angry.

Maybe its my body telling me to slow down... with school, gym, two jobs, etc. I am keeping busy. The problem is that there is only 24 hours in a day and still not enough time to get things done. Also, I think I'm feeling a bit hurt, not just physically but emotionally as well. I just learned that so-called colleagues of mine that I thought were maybe friends, aren't really. I thought they would understand, seeing as I bust my ass all the time. But, to them I guess it doesn't matter what I go through. It seems to be all about what they think is right and what they want. I feel a little betrayed I guess, but they don't care about me so why should I linger on it. I can never be as shady as what they seem to be doing, hell they might not even realize it as long as their selfishness is fulfuilled. I guess I'm alone on that...

As far as my selfish thoughts... I just need to do what I need to, and if I have to feel all this angst then I guess I don't have a choice. The most important thing to me right now is my family. I know it doesn't seem like I'm super close with my family, they mean a lot to me as they should. So I don't want to dissapoint them, I want to support them and make them feel proud of me. I don't want them to worry about me even if I don't feel great. I guess I've had these thoughts for a while.

To my brother; I'm very proud of you. I'm glad that you found a job that you like and can work hard at. Keep on going because you can get far if you just keep going. I'm glad you have a great group a friends around you. I only wish I was as lucky sometimes.

To my parents; thank you for letting me live my life. After deciding to stay years ago, I always wonder if it was the right choice. You always told me about working hard and for that I thank you. I know how you feel now. I promise I'll make you very proud of me some day.

To those true comrads; I hope I know which ones you are... because it seems like these days that I'm not sure anymore. Thanking for sticking up for me, talking to me, helping me, listening to me... To those I thank you for giving your time to hear me out and everything. Sending an IM or giving me a call, thank you for those as well.

To my colleagues; Thanks to those that give me hugs and handshakes. Those that make me laugh and those that can laugh with me. Those who give me advice and still check on me. Those that thank me for helping and vice versa. Those that go out of their way to get me out early from Job A so I don't get in trouble with Job B. I'm sorry to those that I can't help. I wish I could but I'm so busy now, I have things to focus on.

To the extended family; Cherry thank you for being my best friend. I'm sorry I haven't called in a while. Kara, Katelin, and Kaycee I miss you girls a lot. I'm sorry I haven't been around to IM yall. Thank you for asking if I'm doing ok, even when it comes to the girls I date. I know you want to hear all about them and are just protecting me when you ask alot of questions. I promise I won't disappoint you girls.

Ugh... enough of the mushy stuff... :)

--------------------------------------

Things to look forward to: (As Minagi-chan claps away...)

Poker night at Phil's!
Smackdown at Houston before Wrestlemania.
Trying to gain 10 more pounds and keeping up with my workout. (I gained one pound the last I checked!)
When I get healthy enough, big time weightlifting... well for me that is.
A few projects... grrr

--------------------------------------

Air is the best new anime of 2005 IMO. Very fast moving, movie quality color and animation. Funny and sad stories. Most emotional. I haven't been emotional over an anime series in years and this one gets me with every new episode released. So much foreshadowing, it forces you to rewatch previous episodes to see the hidden meanings and ties it all with heart-wrenching storylines. I can't wait for the new episodes.

Ah! My Goddess would be my 2nd fave of 2005 so far. Probably because its a long time fave of a lot of people going back I think 15 years even. Now with a new tv series, I think it's going to retell the story of Keiichi and Belldandy. So far I think its great and funny. A nice contrast to Air because AMG moves a lot slower pace. This one might be on longer, for a few seasons maybe.

I think that's enough for tonight. Might be a while for the next one, might not. That's all for now.

Songs of the Moment
L'Arc-en-Ciel - Ready Steady Go!
Dark Angels - Right Now
Lindsay Lohan - Over

2005-02-17T03:01:00.000-06:00

Watching you, watching me
You don't know how you've betrayed me
Can't find myself lost in your lies
I need to trust myself again

got to get away
there's nothing you can pray

For so long
(i wanna feel the pain, i wanna live again)
I'm in love

I want to heal, I want to feel
Coz nothing is real, inside
Deep in my head, don't be afraid
Erasing your fears, right now

I want to heal, I want to feel
The pain is real, you won't leave me alone
Over the future over the past
Wasting my time, right now

Song of the Moment
Dark Angels - Right Now (Euro Power Mix)

Gao 20x...

2005-02-12T02:28:00.000-06:00

Damnit! I got sick... and its been so long since I've been ill. And when I get sick, I get depressed, not that I need anymore around this time of year. Now that I've had a large coffee with Gabby and I feel sick, I think I'm feeling a weird almost drunk state, even though I had nothing but coffee. So since I can't sleep, I'll keep typing till I get tired.

Jennifer came to see me at work today, and it's nice to see her. But, I just don't know if it can work out, too much trouble it seems. I just can't be content with any girl right now. Unless...

So, I feel like I'm living a secret life... I hate having to put on a smile when I don't feel like it. When things aren't ok, I have to pretend that everything is super. When I'm hurt, I have to act like I can take more pain. Everyone wants to talk to me, when I don't want to speak at all... and the people I do want to talk to, they don't seem to make the effort to say hi or pick up a phone. I feel like every weekend, I babysit and also work alone. No help for me. No one is here to help me when I'm sick and down, so once again I have to take care of myself, alone... So unless you really want to talk to me, if you are genuinely concerned about me, don't try to make small talk. I'm not going to wear my heart on my sleeve anymore, and I'll just be straight up brutal if things get stupid. When everything is "cool", trust me they aren't. I'm going to let all this pent up aggression and frustration out as soon as I get better because I'm tired of keeping it all in anymore. I'm tired of waiting, and tired of doing all the talk and actions. Things need to come to me for a change. I'm tired of all the games, the rumors, the shit people make up. You want to be a real man or woman, you get the guts and have a talk with me.

I'm not going to stop what I'm doing, because I know I'm better off than most people. I'm not just going to give up, because only weak people run away from their problems. I can't afford to be weak, even when I want too the most. Looks like I"m getting no sleep tonight, but I'm tired of all this. Good freakin night.

Gao...

2005-02-11T12:37:00.000-06:00

Wow... over 2000 visitors. Someone must be keeping up. Thank you to all those who check up on me.

By the way, if anyone is interested in having a poker night on the 20th, let me know and I'll see if I can get you on the list. Contact me for details and get ready to lose!

Anyways, to switch gears here... last Tuesday I was working with Liz and she was singing Let Me Love You. I don't know why but I got really melancholy and I told her, "That song just fits me at the moment." She asked why as I opened my checkbook to place an order in. She looks down and sees the photo in my checkbook and says, "Aren't things going ok with her?" (Only those who know which picture I have in my checkbook will know who I"m talking about...) Liz said that I should do something for Valentine's and I thought about it for a long time. I just don't know... Too be honest, I just don't think it would be a good idea.

"What!? Allen doesn't have big plans for Valentine's Day?? No Way!"

Yup, no crazy ideas, no picnics, no date auctions, nothing. Unless something happens in the next few days to merit a last-minute idea, then I got nothing going on.

I do have memories of my most successful Valentine's Day, and that occasion sticks out in my mind. It has to do with one of my ex's, Jeannie and how I set up her whole day for her. I don't want to go into it right now, maybe I'll tell it to you if you ask me nice.

In other random notes, I've been getting real good in my workout routine and I'm keeping a journal of what I do. My goal is try to gain 10 pounds. There is a problem though as I'm feeling a muscle pain below my left shoulder blade that sticks through the front of my pec. It feels like a pain in my heart (hardy har) when I sneeze or get up from lying down. So i'm gonna rest that up for a while. Also, I'm trying to l33t out my blog, hence the bloglines and xml buttons on the right.

That's all for now...

Humans look at outward appearances, but the Goddess looks at the heart.

Week In Review

2005-02-06T13:59:00.000-06:00

Why has it been a stressful weekend? I guess it's because I've been too busy, when I don't feel like it sometimes. Maybe it's a certain girl that I don't hangout with anymore? Maybe it's because my knee is killing me right now? I felt so much pain when I was sleeping. Maybe some of school is catching up to me?

After work update...

Congrats Patriots! Great game from what I saw.

Sunday - Poker at Phil's. I ended up in first, with Andrew second, Quoc third, Phil fourth.

Monday - Big rest day after busy week. Also, a workout day despite being super sore all week, working on strength.

Tuesday - More strength workout. Ultra hard but relaxing yoga class.

Wednesday - Overslept because body felt great after yoga. Six sun salutations in the morning. All cardio day including a return to cardio kickboxing class.

Thursday - Six sun salutations in the morning. Another late nite workout after work with Quoc and Andrew. Found a love for jump roping for a workout. I used to be so good and I still got a bit of skills.

Friday - Double at Changs... not fun. Bought a new blender for my protein and creatine shakes. It's super loud though...

Saturday - Changs and AMC. Day just kept getting worse and I knew it wasn't going to end my way. My knee was screaming in pain by the end of the night.

Super Bowl Sunday - At Changs, it was ok because we kept up watching at the bar. Nice and quiet night, but I would rather have watched the game in full.

That's all for now...

Humans look at outward appearances, but the Goddess looks at the heart.

2005-01-31T22:59:00.000-06:00

Another cold and rainy day...

My mom told me that Grandma Villanueva passed away today from a heart attack... Technically, she's not my grandmother, but that's just what we called her when we were growing up. On my mom's side of the family, she is my grandpa's sister, so she is part of my huge clan-like family. She was just like your typical grandma, but she was very charismatic. Very loud and always in your face about her opinions, which was very cool and funny to me at the time. I remember always yelling or laughing and that face she made is what I'll remember... very huge smile. She always wanted to dance as well, even when I didn't like to dance when I was younger. I guess the last that I remember seeing her was when we went to the Philippines a few years ago and we stayed at her and Grandpa Villanueva's house. It was nice and when we were there, we were roughing it in the small villages around Manila. They were so popular there, it was like everyone knew them, and the people were nice to us through them... She left this world at the age of 85.

A prayer will go out to her tonight from me. She's probably having fun with my grandpas and grandmas up there right now, laughing it up.

2005-01-27T14:56:00.000-06:00

It's rainy and cold so I think I'm just gonna lolly-gag the day today. I did get my brand new Creative Zen Micro! So, I'm gonna be messing with that all day. Its really nice and it'll be good to have for when I go to the gym to workout.

Speaking of working out, it looks like I have to keep it limited because for some reason, I'm still hurting and sore.

Happy Birthday to Andy!

2005-01-24T22:24:00.000-06:00

It's cold here again. Makes me want to just stay in bed wrapped up in blankets. Good thing my room stays the warmest when it gets cold. Gotta stay active, so I'll lift weights and keep some cardio going by dancing around. Also, I'm thinking of putting on 10 pounds in trying to get a bit bigger. So I have to eat and eat right, but just eating everything is fine for now. I'm already picky about some food so I'll just eat what I can.

Bought a new black knee brace a few days ago. Feels good even if its a little bigger and more difficult to put on. I don't know what's up with my leg, but sometimes I feel like my quad is ready to rip off and explode sort of like Triple H's injury. I really wouldn't want that to happen. I blasted my shoulders the other day and are still a bit sore. My back is very knotted as well. It sucks not to have someone to work the kinks out. Any takers? My jaw is also hurting, it might be b/c of my wisdom teeth... ugh I really don't want to go through that.

It sucks about what happened to Kiet... he was such a cool person and was someone I could talk to about anything, even looked up to. Just the circumstances and a bad day can get to the best of us. Things might be finally looking up at AMC as another problem is gone, and might be gone for good. Those that know, should understand what I'm talking about... :)

I finally got rid of all the spyware on my comp! I finally got the broadband phone adapter connected so it doesn't slow my cable down! I fixed a few things at work as well. I guess that "Mr. Fix It" name comes back to mind. Ashley named me that after all the fixing I do, but it wasn't just machines but other stuff as well. I always thought that if I was a stripper, that would be my name and gimmick... I do miss those boxer shorts...

So its Patriots vs Eagles for the Super Bowl this year. I can't decide yet, both deserve to win. Caught up with Xenosaga, Air, and Ah My Goddess... started a MySpace account, but I don't really like it. So good luck finding it.

Should I buy an iPod or Zen Micro? Ugh, I dont know. It's only gonna burn $250+ of my hard earned money... Oh and it looks like since I'm so shrew when it comes to money budgeting, they decided to give me a gold check card now and bump the credit on my platinum card all in one month. I must be doing something right if they want me to keep spending money.

Quick checklist:

Love life? - stagnant is a good word...
Think about her? - a lot...
Do I know what to do? - not really
Does she think of you? - I have no idea, wish she did.
Nervous? - when I see her and when I talk to her

Man these just get loner and longer... so I'll end it here. I have to read some of my friend's poems.

Songs of the Moment
Lia - Tori no Uta (Poem of the Bird) - Air opening theme
Yoko Ishida - Open Your Mind - Ah! My Goddess TV opening theme
Utada Hikaru - Devil Inside
Dark Angels - Right Now [Euro Power Mix]

2005-01-21T01:40:00.000-06:00

Well this week might as well as been, "How's your ex doing? or Have you seen your ex? Week"

I guess it started b/c I was confused about some rumors going around. And I was down about that b/c ppl like starting crap. Which reminds me that I should stop taking out my married, engaged, or pregnant friends on "dates." It just confuses more ppl and they ask others about it all. Well after all the rumors were cleared up, mostly by me just going to the source and asking, I didn't feel so bad at all. In fact, a little better.

Then Todd asks me if I might be willing to go on a blind date with a friend of his. Not to add that I wasn't feeling very confident about myself, now I had to trust someone to pick out a date with someone I don't know. Well, I'm not sure if I'm gonna go through with it, I'd have to meet her first.

Keith told me he saw Jeannie the other day, and that she wasn't looking very good. He asked me what happened with her and I told him that she isn't very healthy, which is true. It reminded me how far a person can fall without someone or something positive in their life. I also got to see Becka tonight. I always told her that she (unfortunatley) always reminded me of Jeannie, and I think it was unfair to Becka. I apologize because whenever I saw Becka, it reminded me how stupid Jeannie was. Then Becka asked about Ashley. I was like, ugh... what a funny twist of irony this week has been. I gave her the update in about 10 words, and they all weren't positive. Oh, and just to throw another log on the rumor fire, Becka tells me that ppl thought that her and I were dating a while back... that's news to me!

I guess one big reason why I haven't been actively persuing the next girl is because I'm a bit afraid. I'm afraid that they will all end up like my messed up exgfs, and that scares me. There, my biggest fear right now out in the open! That's why I 2nd guess all my 2nd guesses. That's why everytime I see her (the current one) I get very nervous. When I talk to her, I get nervous. I put myself out there once again and not sure what to think anymore. I'll make sure to do the right thing once again, no games, only pure intentions.

*sigh*

After reading all this, I am a slut-bucket...

Current Video Playing
Keith Urban - You'll Think Of Me

I'm experimenting with new muic videos on my blog. The last one was Maroon 5 - Sunday Morning. Now this Keith Urban song is awesome and it always makes me think that the ones that leave us will be thinking of us when we aren't around, wishing we are still nearby. This goes out to all those who have been hurt by those we really cared for...

2005-01-19T13:57:00.000-06:00

Doing some blog editing and I like how it is for right now. I'm gonna change up the video whenever I get a chance.

Not feeling too confident lately, and if you see me, I'll more than likely hide it really well. I got back into work at Changs and I was rusty. It was good to hear that the people there missed me, even yell at me for not working :) but that's good too. Even Amanda said where her second boyfriend has been.

Let me tell you about this one couple of regulars I always get. Mr. Jaime and Mrs. Terry are some of the coolest people I know. They travel all over the world and everytime I see them, they have some story about a place they just came from. Whether its Chicago, Ft. Lauderdale, Scotland, Austrailia, or Italy... they have tons of stories to tell me. I get so jealous because, we used to travel a lot when we were younger and now we can't because of money and time. Now I want to travel to Japan as well as Italy when I get the time and money. What an awesome couple, I want to be like them someday... plus they tip me very well all the time!

I'm gonna update later... too much to do and people to talk to.

2005-01-17T23:43:00.000-06:00

Bored, so I did a quiz...

2005-01-17T13:21:00.000-06:00

I guess I'll update... since I'm waiting to go out to lunch.

With classes starting again, I think I'm setting myself up for more aggravation with more classes this semester. People ask how I do it, and I still don't know how really. Two jobs, classes, working out, dating (when it happens), and going out to places (when it happens)... and for some reason it doesn't seem very fullfilling at the moment. Something is missing and maybe I want it to happen so everything else can make me happy. And, it's not just me but other people will go out of their way to make it happen... and God I don't know why they would help me someone like me, but I feel like I'm failing all of them..........

I get so nervous now when I see her. Even more when I talk to her... and that's not good for me. Damnit, why am I think about her so much?? I don't even have to talk about her to anyone and things still get messed up. I wished I didn't get all these mixed signals. I don't know what to do now. Maybe I shouldn't have put myself out there. I just think I might have intimidated her big time. I just wanted to believe that maybe I could have healed her wounded heart, and that she can do the same for me... I just had such a great feeling and so did other ppl... I can't give up yet. If I wasn't so freakin busy...

On some better news... I won at poker night on Friday! First time I won at poker, whoo hoo. Thanks to Val and Eric for letting us play there till 4am. Just to let everyone know, I put that money to good use. I sent $100 to my god-daughter in the Phillipines. Pretty cool, huh?

Also, I made it back to the gym this week. And even though I haven't been there in a month, I still look pretty good. Now, I'm pretty sore, and it sucks that its cold too.

I was also thinking about working on another poem, I've had it in my mind for a while but haven't put it down on paper yet. With the new series of Ah My Goddess! out in Japan, I'm thinking of titling it "My Goddess." I'm not too sure about it yet, since my last one was a big flop, but you never know.

Well, I dont' know what else to say other than feeling a bit lonely. I want to be healed soon and I want it to happen badly. I just... don't know anymore

Song of the Moment

George Michael - Careless Whisper

List of Errands

2005-01-11T10:36:00.000-06:00

This one is really just for me and what I need to do before school starts up again.

-Go to the bank
-Organize my dvds
-Clean room
-Get back into Lifetime routine... even with hurt left leg, feels better though.
-Get a new knee brace
-Make new cd for car
-Tweak the blog
-Fix computer problems, I did master port forwarding/bittorent (its faster!)

Can't think of anything else. Life tends to be busy with the little things. A prayer goes out to the people in California suffering from the flood as well as the tsunami victims in Asia.

New Anime

2005-01-10T01:28:00.000-06:00

Well its going to be interesting for anime fans this year as lots of new series are debuting this year in 2005. Just when I needed some new anime to watch othe than Naruto and Initial D Fourth Stage, some great ones are coming out and making news in the anime community. These are some that I will follow:

Xenosaga The Animation - Episode 01

Adapted from the popular Xenosaga console game. This TV series will be based on the first installment of the Xenosaga trilogy, Episode I: Der Wille zur Macht.

Fans of the PS2 game will no doubt flock to this one. I never finished the game b/c it was so long, but I still thought it was excellent. So far, the CGI and the music standout the most. The character designs are a bit strange, but the game was in 3D so that might affect the look. But, its immense popularity from the game will keep this one interesting, as its videogame counterpart was widely known for its story.

AIR - Episode 01

Kunisaki Yukito is a traveller, ever seeking the 'girl in the sky' from a legend passed down in his family. His journey takes him to a small seaside town, where he meets Misuzu, a girl who seems eager to become his friend. A story spanning a thousand years begins to unfold against the background of their peculiar relationship.

I went in knowing nothing about this show, but I'm glad I got it. Incredibly nice colors and animation and beautiful character designs. Lots of blue and clouds and sky looked very nice. Also presented in widescreen. Excellent intro and ending themes as well coupled with great animation. So far, everyone in the show is pretty weird... but it's also funny.

Ah! My Goddess TV - Episode 01

Keiichi was looking forward to university life. But in reality, he had no luck in anything, and he had trouble with clubs, love, etc. The truth is that he had an unlucky star above his head. One day, Keiichi was stuck watching the dorm while his sempai left, and had a mountain of chores to do, too. But Keiichi was a good-natured person, and set about doing his duties. As he was about to finish his final chore, he made a phone call to his sempai. But the words that came through the receiver were, 'Goddess Help Line.'

The most anticipated out of all the new series. One of my favorite animes of all time, and also a favorite for many others as well. 16 years the manga and anime have been around and remain strongly popular to this day. Romance, comedy and drama all in one here and now the TV series adds a bit more background than the OVA does, but also enriches longtime fans of the series that makes you smile on quite a number of occasions. Nice colors and CGI animation from AIC that add to the excellent designs. Awesome music including the intro and ending that fit the series very well. I always liked their idea of Heaven being a giant computer database.

The good natured hard working guy that always did the right things, even though life wasn't always lucky to him... that is until he met his Goddess. I don't want to go into personal feelings of why I like the OVA series and the movie and why I'm looking forward to the TV episodes. Let's just say, I can't wait till I meet my next Goddess.

Some time off...

2005-01-07T19:46:00.000-06:00

I got some time off tonight, so I thought I would show you my late, but cool Christmas gift I got from Jatziri. I never thought I would have gotten a bear, but I think it's cool! His name is "I Love You" Bear... I don't know what to think of the name :) but it's fine by me. Not only that, she remembered that I didn't have the Friends Season 1 Box Set. I'm glad that she did. I don't know what else to say about it, in fact I might be a bit confused, but otherwise I'm happy. It made my day. Thank you so much Jatziri, you are beautifully awesome! Here are some pics...

My kickass new bear! I'm not hanging him, I promise...

Blurry, but cool pose with bear!

He's saying something...

After work, I got to hangout with Mike and Shayna. We went to Christa's job and had a few drinks. I like this pic...

Allen and Mike, buddies having a drink!

Oh yeah, some ppl ask me about my resolutions so here they are:

1. Stay healthy, mind, body and soul.
2. Learn too cook more.
3. Slow dance with that special girl in my life. (if another one comes around this year that is...)

Well until next time...

Song of the Moment
Vertical Horizon - Everything You Want

Recover

2005-01-05T14:17:00.000-06:00

Current plan for the start of the new year: Recover...

I guess you can say I have been recovering since the last part of 04, but that was more of a mental recovery. Now, I need more of a physical recovery. I woke up on New Year's Eve to extreme pain in my left leg. It cramped up and I was thinking it was a charlie horse. I thought it was something worse, being my knee on my left leg has always bothered me. Dancing and running around on New Year's didn't help either. For the next few days, my leg was sore kind of like a bruise under my muscles. I couldn't even massage it without feeling soreness. Val says its because I hadn't been to the gym in a few weeks. I think it's from going nonstop since the holidays, constantly being on my feet from work and trying to do too much by myself. My body is finally taking its toll, and as much as I want to train my other parts of my body, I need all the rest I can. It sucks because I feel like a slob and a slacker, but I need to calm down and rest properly.

One drawback to resting is that my mind is wondering... constatnly wandering. I think about a lot, but mostly its about something I did before the year ended. I wanted to end the year on no regrets and total honesty. So I wrote a letter to a certain someone (don't worry, it's not the ex). It's just something I had to do, you know... get things off my chest. So I did it, but I hope I haven't scared her or made myself look stupid, the last things I wanted to do. I just wanted to be nice and honest and I hope she sees that too. I hope I'm not sticking my neck out there without getting recognized as well. That's the one thing I'm really hating right now, working so hard at everything and not getting anything good back, even when its well deserved...

As for the job issues, I haven't been the the 3rd one in a while. AMC is not getting any better, and they are gonna hate me more when I decide to have more classes this semester. Telling me I'm not committed as before... screw you. I work too hard for that place and to tell me I don't is a slap in the face. I'll continue doing my thing and if they don't like it, then you can fire me. PF Changs is even taking a toll, but then they somehow win me over again. I'm working on trying to do everything on my own, but everyone always asks for help or if I need any. Even when AMC scheduled me out of my availability, I had to release shifts at Changs and got them covered within 20 minutes of asking. But, still... I don't even feel like working at all anywhere. Ugh... I just took a look at my credit card balance and it looks like I can't completely stop yet. Damn the holidays and damn classes I have to pay for! The only plus is that my credit line has increased...

So while recovering, I'll be working on a few hobbies like the blog or catching up on some dvds. Maybe working on the comp, clean up my room, or maybe doing a little clothes shopping for myself. One thing I hadn't done in months was taking pictures... I miss doing that sometimes. In retrospect, I would have taken more pics on Xmas and New Years. Oh well... I've gone on too long again. Until next time.

Songs of the Moment
Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Maroon 5 - Sunday Morning
Symbol - Forever Young
Nutty - Secret Love
Mario - Let Me Love You

2005-01-04T11:31:00.000-06:00

Thought I'd put up a bunch of New Year's and Christmas pics. I finally got them in order and organized. I'll put my thoughts up later. Enjoy the pics and click on them to enlarge them. See ya!

New Year's Eve Party!

2005-01-04T11:23:00.000-06:00

New Years Eve... Team Arm Wrestling

Karaoke Time!!!

Playing Cards

Jason on the mic

Pheobe's turn and EVIL Chamal!!

Dance Time - Andy freestyle!

Dance Time - Leave it to the experts

Shakin it

Even the old folks are having fun!

Christmas Eve Party!

2005-01-04T11:09:00.000-06:00

Here are some random pics from Xmas Eve...

It snowed on Christmas Eve!

Karaoke time!

All the boys singing, lookin crazy...

Showing off my Playboy nightwear.

Picture time!

Team Marcelino!

Team Ragasa's turn...

Smile and pose!

2004-12-30T13:01:00.000-06:00

I don't know what I did, but I hate the way things are now. I hate that I've lost control on the things I've worked very hard at. I hate the short days, I hate the long days. I hate all the hard work that goes unnoticed. I hate that I might not have two jobs by the start of the year... I hate snapping at people. I hate that I can't catch a break. I hate having to stick my neck out on everything I do now.

I hate....... I hate putting my honest feelings out there, and not getting anything in return.

I hate how I thought this was going to be one on my happiest years... I hate how foolish I was. I hate how I fell for someone so troubled and evil. I hate all the effort that was put into her, only for it all to be lies.

Let this year be over already, I hate it.

2004-12-25T01:15:00.000-06:00

It Snowed!!! I can't believe it snowed for Christmas Eve. It was so awesome, I was acting like a kid. I guess anything can happen... I wonder if there will be a Christmas miracle? I would like to believe, and it looks like that's all I have right now, is to believe.

I was thinking how bad of a year it has been for me, even though if you asked me 6 months ago I would have told you it was the best year ever. I'll save my ranting about the year for my last post of the year.

I wanted to end the year on a high note, but unfortunatley I'll have to wait and be a little more patient for the next relationship. I am so ready to make the next girl happy, and she is going to be a lucky one. I was ready because I became close to a certain someone, but she still seems confused and hurt. We are very different, but also similar. All I can do is be honest and hopefully she'll see what kind of person I am and that I'm not just like every jerk out there. Being lonely around the holidays wasn't good, but hopefully I'm just having a small set back. Patience is my virtue right now.

2004-12-16T16:10:00.000-06:00

It's been a tough week... I don't want to say much because it's prolly gonna get worse. I just realized in the last few days that with everything going on, I'm on my own. And even though how hard I might be able to work or how much of myself I put in everything, I'm on my own. Instead of trying to make everyone happy, I should focus and make myself happyfirst. It may sound selfish (especially to me) but I've been told that I need to look out for number one. It looks like I have to agree now. I'm not getting appreciated for anything and only a few ppl understand and see how I am nowadays.

I need to catch up on the dvds I bought. Spiderman 2, Dodgeball and Mary Poppins hasnt even been open yet. I never do that, leave a dvd unopened. Plus, I still have yet to watch Amelie... but I'll save that for a special night.

As for the potenential new person in my life.... I dont know what to do about her right now. I want to be completely honest with her and that I'm a little scared because of what I've been through this year. As much as I want to be with her, I just know she's gonna get a lot of crap. She does now for just talking to me! What do I do...?

Well I'm just gonna say screw it... I want to be happy and this girl makes me happy. I'm gonna make my move soon. I hope it'll be the right one...

2004-12-05T23:42:00.000-06:00

Busy week... here's a recap:

Monday - Back to gym
Tuesday - Jatziri's bday
Wednesday - More gym and AMC
Thursday - Bday and Town Center Christmas Tree lighting
Friday - Cherry and Jesse in town. Double date (at least I think it was)
Saturday - Busy lunch, first shift with Host Staff
Sunday - Poker at Shannon's

Thank you to all those who remembered my birthday. I really thought it would have been a bummer day (being alone on bday or the ex showing up... good thing she didnt) but it turned out to be a lot better than I thought. In fact it went on throughout the weekend, so I guess that was better.

I started off my bday at 12:01 am by heading my old house to check out the old neighborhood I grew up in. I only took a quick glance as I remembered being younger and did some reminising. I headed back home and Mike was the first one to wish me a happy bday through AIM. It was cool b/c I didn't think he remembered. The "2nd person" to wish me happy bday was the kiosk at PF Changs. When I clocked in, it said "Happy Birthday, Allen!" I thought it was funny b/c I didn't tell many ppl at work b/c I thought I would have gotten a bucket of water splashed on me or gotten shat at by paintball guns.

Then I closed lunch and later helped Mike Brown at the Chang's booth at the Town Center Christmas Tree Festival. Our lines for lettuce wraps were longer than those of Santa and the snowball fight! We dished out over 1000 lettuce wraps and we would have had more if our propane tank didn't run out of gas so we couldn't cook more. Props to Juliana, Ashley K, Mike Brown, Jimi and Caleb. We ruled the festival!

Then went to Friday's to go have dinner with Phil, Anh, Jason and Todd. It was great, and I always love eating out with friends for great conversations.

Then ended the night by going back to the old house to reminise again.

Anyways, here are my thanks to those who remembered. If I don't remember you, I'm sorry.

Mike - 1st one to say happy bday.
Jessica - For remembering and giving me the 2nd best bday card.
John, Jason, Shannon, Quoc - First ppl to text me happy birthday.
Phil and Anh - Taking me out to dinner. It's always a pleasure.
Aaron and Anna - leaving a funny voice mail.
Kiet - for comping my food when I went to the restaurant.
Shayna - for catching up with me that night. I miss you too.
Shannon - $20 Chili's gift card. Oh yeah! Very useful for me, I like Chili's. Damn your full house!
Angela - for just remembering
Nadia - for remembering as well, but also calling me on a busy night while at work. You rock!
PF Hostesses - for the hugs! :)
Jatziri - For giving me the best bday card and the first one to get me a gift. I love them both. You're wonderfully awesome... ;)

And to all the ppl who took time out of their day to say happy bday or left messages while I was away too and left me emails, thank you.

To those who forgot, I guess it's ok. To those that should have remembered and didn't... you suck.

2004-11-29T16:39:00.000-06:00

I haven't had the best week...

I don't know why, but I've had a pretty depressing week. It has been bad weather all week, rain and wind and uglyness outside. I haven't been to the gym because of it, as well as work getting in the way. I heard good news about friends and all and I'm happy for them... but it just reminded me of how lonely I've been for the last few weeks.

I've been busting my ass so much, but no one is around to see it and acknowledge it. And on top of that, I have a 3rd job. Don't worry, it's nothing bad like prostitution or anything, but I feel like it can be another responsibility that I have accepted to tackle.

It could also be that I like someone new, and I don't know if I should go for it. It would be so much drama, but it would be so worth it because this girl is so unique and pretty. I just don't know if she sees me in the same way, and that is what's holding me back. I have to respect what she is going through and our friendship, but I had those moments that I could have taken... a lot of times, but I didn't out of respect. I'm going to try something soon to thank her, put myself out there even though it's going to be tough...

It's also the holidays... and with my birthday coming up, I don't know if I'm excited about everything. I thought about it and I thought, "What do I have to show for everything?" I didn't think I was going to be alone again, and I thought I wasn't but that was thrown out the window when I learned the truth about Ashley. After all that with her, I set some goals I wanted before my birthday. And I had reached some of them, it's just not as big as I thought it would have been. I guess I'll have to increase the time limit on those goals...

I want to be fine and happy for the birthday and holidays and I'm going to believe they will be fine. That is all I have sometimes, believing.

Finishing post later....

2004-11-18T13:10:00.000-06:00

It was a horrible rainy day yesterday, so I didn't go workout. I did go Nintendo DS hunting after work, but no luck. Some bad news... my yoga instructor Rolga is working at a new place! NO! She was so cool and I finally got to to talk to her a lot lately. Our class was stunned when we found out. Another thing, Van was teaching yoga. As awesome as Van is, good grief is she tough! Looks liek I'll have to make up time in the gym later, after I do more DS hunting.

Some other news I found out in the week:

-Apparently a certain ex is bald now... (good Lord it must be hideous)
-New Year's is again here. I think its the 4th or 5th year in a row.
-I've been buying a lot of dvds after a few weeks drought of nothing to get at Best Buy. (Shrek 2, Friends, Tenchi, ECW)
-I was told that in the near future, I will be forced to choose between my 2 jobs. Not happy about this.
-I tweaked my knee the other day, its starting to bother me again.
-I sure am eating a lot more again... in fact I'm gonna get some food now.

2004-11-11T15:28:00.000-06:00

Nothing you can say, nothing's gonna change what you done to me.
Now it's time to shine, you'll never take what's mine!
Take what's mine...
Nothing you can say, nothing's gonna change what you done to me.
Now it's time to shine, you'll never take what's mine!
You're gonna burn in my light.

2004-11-10T13:52:00.000-06:00

Lifetime Fitness Schedule:

Monday - Arms; biceps and triceps. 5:30, Cardio Kickboxing
Tuesday - Abs, Legs, Forearms. 7:30, Fitness Yoga (5:30, Total Conditioning)
Wednesday - Chest, Shoulders, Back, Forearms. 4:30, Basic Training (5:30, Cardio Kickboxing, 7:30, 50/50)
Thursday - Arms, Total Body. 5:30, Total Conditioning (4:30, 50/50 6:45, Cardio Funk)

Friday, Saturday, Sunday - Rest and relax or quick workout. Usually the weekend has a packed schedule for me, so it'll be hard to find time to workout. But that's fine b/c I need to rest my body from working out. (Like working is rest for my body...) Also, I was thinking if Val can give me massages to help me out. She could use some extra money from me to help her out, plus it's so much cheaper than the gym.

This is my semi-set schedule for the rest of the year. I have to adjust around work
which seems to be ok since Changs rocks on my schedule and since AMC isn't giving me any more hours (the bastards!) and that I have most of the workout in the afternoon.

There are a lot of new classes for the rest of the year, and there are some I want to try out like the 50/50 and the Cycle 60. Also, I have some great but unexpected workout partners. My cousin Jill is such a great motivator. Because of her, I have gotten into the Kickboxing and Conditioning classes. The instructors, Van and Kathy are so encouraging and nice. By the way, Kathy is HOT! The unexpected partners are Wayne and Bret. Yup, I find it weird but I do admire them that they want to be healthy and that they'll get in shape soon. Anh needs to hurry up and show up to the gym more and enjoy working out. Chantelle just joined too and maybe she can benefit from the classes as well. She has always asked me about Lifetime and I hope to help her along as well.

Great story, last night I was in my yoga class which I have been taking for over a month but I never really got to talk to my instructor, Rolga before. She always said hi and asked me "you ok doll?" Well I wanted to tell her that I was enjoying her class and that I asked her what can I do to help out my back. She comes up and gives me a hug, which I wasn't expecting at all! She said it was great that I come and I told her that I love coming to her class every week. I thought that was awesome that she didn't even know me but was really nice to me.

2004-11-07T03:24:00.000-06:00

Just got back from Hush and it was fun. Gabby and I were dancing a lot and Jason was too. Happy Bday to Cherry and Jesse and I'm glad they came all the way out to dance. Maybe next week, we all go out again and bring more people. Too bad my Total Conditioning class is still affecting my legs. Great class, its keeping me sore for 3 days... ow!

It kept my mind off of "her" for a while since I had to tell the story about us again to a friend. Another day to relive the story... damnit it sucks. But forget it...

Had fun at Andy's last night. Last time I was there, I took "her" with me. I can't believe how good I still am at CvS2 and 3rd Strike and Tekken Tag. Not anywhere as good as I could be, but not bad for someone who hasn't played in almost less than a year. Afterwards, Jatziri and I were watching Shrek 2. I was teaching her the art of massaging and she did a good job at it. Thanks fot that and your kind words Jatziri.

2004-11-03T11:55:00.000-06:00

It's finally cold here in Houston, and again I'm by myself. Less than one month left for me being 23... I still can't tell if this was a good year or a bad year. Its good for some reasons, bad for a bunch of others.

Changed my blog title... I havne't been inspired to take pics that much anymore...

People keep asking about her... everyday. And I know there are gonna be more that ask about her. *sigh... Man, I guess it still sucks but does anyone really know how much it hurts. The girl that I fell for so many times no longer exists. The person does, but the one that was there for me, the one I saw in front of me and in my thoughts, in my mind is no longer here. I might end up having a blog for my thoughts about her...

Everyone asks about how I'm doing. I'm doing ok. I have my good days, and my bad. They balance each other out. In other news about me, I have found a new second home... Lifetime Fitness. It is such a great place and keeps me very motivated. A lot of positive people and it has helped me out a lot. I haven't been in such good shape since high school. At the moment, I'm really sore though. My workout classes are really kicking my ass... but its good because "no pain, no gain." I just started cardio kickboxing (it's like Tae-Bo) and the instructor Van is super tough. She would have to be if she is the head of all the fitness classes. I have also been taking Yoga for a month now, and I love it! It really is tough b/c it tests your body's strength and flexability within yourself. Plus, it's also very relaxing and helps deal with stress not only in your body but your mind as well. On top of that, going through at least 4 times a week of total body training with targeting a specific section each day. Also, not that most people can see but I'm seeing a great change in my body physically in just a month. I have a body type in mind and that will be my goal. I hope to see more improvement in the next month.

No smoking. No drugs. Not an ounce of any sort of drug has ever entered my body, and it will stay that way, forever. I'm going to get a doctor check up as well.

My goal right now is having a strong mind, heart, soul, and body. With everything that has happened to me this past year, I'm not in the best shape to do so but I have gained a strong will from it all. I wished some of the things never happened... b/c it has messed with my heart. I was strong minded and will always continue to be strong. I delt with every situation that was handed to me. I was always honest, loyal, and strong... no matter what was thrown in my way. I think I'm gonna need a strong body to house the mind, heart and soul. Things are going to be tough for me from here out. I have been praying again, for the strength to go on. For strength for my friends and their tough times they are going through. Prayers for Ashley and her family, to find strength to deal with their problems and to try to become good again...

I want to thank all of my family and friends who has given me support. The ones that check up on me, even if I haven't talked to you in a while. I love you all. I swear, I will make you all proud of me someday and that you will not regret ever being important in my life. I can't ever thank you enough for helping an average Joe like me... I'm nothing special. But I'm about to change all that.

Oh and it looks like 4 more years of turd sandwich... errr George W. Bush. God bless America, and protect and help us too.

- Allen Rey Ragasa

2004-10-25T01:49:00.000-05:00

It seems like every song is speaking out to me, old and new. I guess it's how I am right now and the fact that I'll have good days and bad days. I guess it's part of the suffering I have been going through or must go through. Whether it's the music on the radio that gets me going and causes me to tear up, or gets me singing in my room alone, it's pretty effective and it is part of life for me right now. I don't use Yahoo Messenger for anything other than its streaming music now, and its really good.

Anyways, there are tons of songs that remind me of her and others as well. But until I hear my most sacred song to me, I'll be ok for a while.

Songs of the Moment
Garth Brooks - To Make You Feel My Love
Bryan Adams - Everything I Do

There are so many more, too many in fact that have a special hold on me. But if there is one that is very special to me, if there is one song that I can look at the moon while singing and wonder... it would have to be:

Janet Jackson - Where Are You Now?

It's Over

2004-10-03T01:13:00.000-05:00

That's it... the end. I was blinded. She is getting worse and is only screwing herself over and over more and more. She is insecure, cruel, evil, crazy, selfish, unloyal, lying, immature, and a virus to not only the people that care for her, but to herself the most.

I cannot believe that I was in love with her. I can't believe I trusted her... I can't believe I got hurt again. Does being good and loyal mean nothing anymore? It's her loss! I hate her... How dare she do this to me? How DARE she do this to me!?! I HATE HER!!!

From now on, women only... not girls.

How the hell am I gonna live on? How am I gonna trust any other girl in the future? Where the hell do I go from here?

This will be my last post for a long time... I feel like talking more than typing. At least when you talk to me, you know that I'm alive.

2004-09-29T02:53:00.000-05:00

I joined Lifetime Fitness yesterday. The place is sweet!!! www.lifetimefitness.com I would encourage people to check it out.

I just had a big boost in confidence tonight. I was talking for pretty much 3 hours straight with a few friends, asking about Ashley and everything. I just know I can fix things and make things better, only if she will realize it and be ready to come back. I'm perfect for her right now, not only strong willed but strong in emotion and sensativity. Now, hopefully with joining the gym, I can have a strong body to hold my strong mind and soul.

I'm coming off my confident high right now and I'm glad I let loose on what I can do and make sure everything will be ok. Thank you once again to everyone that support me and telling me I'm doing the right thing. I love you all and am very grateful to everyone.

Love is the greatest and strongest type of freedom alive, and I can offer that freedom to her...

2004-09-27T16:53:00.000-05:00

The best freedom I can offer anyone is the most precious freedom of all... love

Love - the most important freedom in the world. You can do anything. I feel like I can overcome anything.

Song of the Moment
In addition to the others...

Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow - Picture

2004-09-27T03:51:00.000-05:00

Song of the Moment

Mariah Carey - I Still Believe

Thank you to all those that still believe in me and my decision to keep on fighting for Ashley. I feel deep down in my heart that I can succeed and I want to thank everyone for their prayers, thoughts, hugs, tears, and encouraging words while I fight for love. Ashley, I can't wait till you snap out of it and fufill the wishes of mine and everyone else and come to your senses again. Please hurry...

2004-09-26T13:21:00.000-05:00

I didn't know how much I was going to miss you until you were gone...

Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.

Break a vase, and the love that reassembles the fragments is stronger than that love which took its symmetry for granted when it was whole.

-

It is the best feeling in the world, waking up and being in love, when I look at you I feel so in love, but without you i just feel empty inside, i hate not being with you. You turned my life around and made it what it is today.

Its just so hard realizing that I don't have you in my life. Being with you brings out the person in me I have never seen before, and I enjoy being that person. You have showed me how to love myself as others. I love you

2004-09-24T09:27:00.000-05:00

I feel lost again...
I feel embarrassed...
I feel like nothing
I feel like dying

I dont feel wanted
I dont feel appreciated
I don't feel loved

What am I supposed to do now?
I feel out of energy
I am drained
I feel like I lost her...

Am I done?
How did I lose her?
What happened to the happy girl?
Does She not care anymore?
Does She not think of me anymore?
Does She not love me anymore?

Someone, please tell me... please find out...please help her and me...

2004-09-20T19:19:00.000-05:00

I woke up a lot happier today, not as much as I would like but happier nonetheless. I went over to Ashley's at 11 last night and hung out with her friends. It kind of reminded me back when I was with a group of buddies a long time ago. Anyways, we go into her room to talk and we were pretty much there talking til 5:30 am. Wow! That was a long time, but it didn't feel like it. There wasn't any crying this time around, and it was good. Maybe a few glassy eyes, but it was all out of sweetness.

I cleaned out a ton of text messages earlier, over 1100! Mostly, I kept Ashley's messages and there were about 700 of them. So, ever since we started seeing each other, we exchanged 1400+ text messages! She was looking at them, and it was funny the night before I was reading all of them. We were remembering all the times we sent them and if they were good times, bad, or even funny times.

What made everything special to me was afterwards. We ended up falling asleep but when I woke up, she ended up with my arm around her, head in my chest, and hand clutching my chest. I absolutely love waking up that way with her... and it felt reaffirming that I'm making the right decision to continue to fight for us. :)

We pretty much enjoyed being with each other. We got to hold each other close. That is something that means a lot to me. And it still means she doesn't reject me. We figured out what we were at the moment, even though it still is confusing. We will give each other time to heal. In a way though, I want that time to be as short as possible. I know I have to go through the pain she felt, but it feels even worse. I had to overcome a lot opening up, and now I'm feeling even worse. Sometimes, I feel like she doesn't even want to be with me at all...... That's the pain I'm going through, but if that's what it takes, then I'll do it. I've been trying to increase and accelerate some of the pain by reading some emotional books, listening to love songs, and remembering all the great times. Sensative Allen has the benefit of meeting Strong Allen. My mind, heart and body are all in pain. But, both sides are helping to make sure we last through one of the roughest times in my life.

The best compliment in the world is having someone you love return your love back to you. I know Ashley loves me, she never had to say it before but she did. I can't wait until the next time I hear those words again from her. Until then, I'm gonna tell her everytime I get that I love her.

Ashley, I love you... please don't make me wait long... to hear those words...

Song of the Moment

I've been listening to a ton of love songs, all very great, but this one seems to stand out...

Peter Gabriel - In Your Eyes

Here are a few others:

K-Ci & JoJo - Crazy
Boyz II Men - Water Runs Dry
Aaliyah - Miss You
4pm - Sukiyaki

2004-09-19T10:32:00.000-05:00

A brand new day... and my feelings are still there.
A brand new day... and the hurt begins again.
A brand new day.. everyone is going to ask what's wrong again.
A brand new day... of waiting to hear her.
A brand new day... of hope

A brand new day... to love her again.
A brand new day... and it's gonna hurt just as much as yesterday.
A brand new day... to show how strong I am
A brand new day... that I'm still going to fight again.
A brand new day...

2004-09-18T08:48:00.000-05:00

She was here last night...when I thought I wouldn't hee from her for a while. I went to pick her up and I took care of her while she was sick here. I told her many of the words that are now easy for me to say... but I don't know if the got through.

I feel like I'm being punished... I didn't want to open up, but I did. I changed b/c of the girl that I love. And now... I feel like dying...

I'm not gonna give up. We've been through too much for me to let go now. She was so beautiful lying here with me last night, and the best part is, only I have seen that sight a million times. No one else will ever see that...

Please Ashley, be there for me...

Anyone, please encourage me and pray for us again. I love that crazy girl...

Lonely Again

2004-09-16T23:15:00.000-05:00

I thought I was doing ok, I thought I was doing everything right. I've done a lot of crying tonight. I failed again...? I didn't deserve any of this...

Three Diamonds... Very Beautiful...

Windstruck... My Sassy Girl Prequel??

2004-09-14T17:36:00.000-05:00

Andy told me about a prequel to My Sassy Girl, Windstruck so I just had to get it. (My Sassy Girl is one of my all-time favorite movies. 9.5 out of 10.) Click on the post title to get a link. Apparently it has clues to it being a prequel, not to mention it stars Jeon Ji Hyun, leading actress and one of the stars of My Sassy Girl.

I just got it, but I won't have any time to watch and review it yet, but as soon as I do I'll let you know how it is. I have to work a double tonight as I just bought an excellent (expensive) gift for Ashley. I hope she likes it. It's really nice :)

If anyone knows about Windstuck or has seen it, let me know what you think of it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok I started watching Windstruck at 5:30 am b/c I couldn't sleep well. And it is almost 8:00 and I'm done. I've got to say, this was a great movie! I dont think anything could top My Sassy Girl, but this was close. You have to be a little more open-minded and open-hearted to feel this movie. Also, I think I can relate more with Sassy because of the male lead. If I have to give it a rating right now, I'll give it a 9. So many clues and hints that tie both the movies together! It also uses a great song for the theme "Knockin On Heaven's Door" which sounds great no matter who sings it. Be prepared to be sad. Thanks to Andy for telling me about it. (I was shedding a few tears near the end...)

Some things I realized while watching the movie, and some personal notes:

-No matter how strong a woman is or can be, she is still a girl inside. All it takes is that one man to make that girl feel like a woman.

-Some guys can't catch a break, no matter what they do... (I know how that feels)

-There still is a soft side in me that has been hiding but has peeked his head through the last few days. He saw the movie...

-I'm still a firm believer in "Actions Speak Louder Than Words". Although some people don't appreciate the actions that others do for others, it won't stop me from ever following that belief. :)

-In the last couple of days, I've earned a lot of respect from friends and other aquaintances. I feel proud when people say they respect me and that I'm more of human being and a man's man than they'll ever know. Because a few years ago, I thought I was just another guy... The fact that I have grown into someone that my friends and family can be proud of, that makes me feel like I'm actually worthy of what I have. I haven't written in my blog about much of my feelings in the last few months, and that's because I'm very happy with where I am and with the people I"m with (especially Ashley). Now that I'm actually typing they way I used to, might mean something, whether it be good.... or bad...

Ahhh, it actually felt good to type that. I guess if I can't say what I think, I'll write it down, or type it out here. I think that'll be perfectly fine for now.

Off to watch Windstruck again...

Raw Road Trip!

2004-09-07T14:05:00.000-05:00

Raw in Wichita Falls was worth the trip. I don't care anymore that it was a 400 mile drive from Houston, it was well worth it. Excellent show setting up for Unforgiven. The best part of the night was after the show when Jason, Ashley and I stopped at a gas station. As we were getting a few things, I was amazed as I saw Christian walking in! I tell Jason and Ashley to look as Coach, Chris Jericho and Edge walk in as well. They were really cool as we told them that they put on a great show. I got to shake Christian's hand and told him it was great to see him back on TV. He said, "Thank you, means a lot." I shook Chris Jericho's hand too. Coach said hello as he was stocking up on a few things. Edge looked really hurt as he was having trouble walking around and grimmacing in pain. Some other fans were asking for pics with Christian and Coach while Jason and I got pics with Jericho! My pic looks funny, I wished I played along with it but I was excited getting a pic with one of my favorite wrestlers. Here are the pics:

Jason and Y2J!

Myself and Y2J! Y2J!

New Hair

2004-08-29T13:54:00.000-05:00

For those who haven't seen yet, here is me with my new haircut. What do you think?

New News

2004-08-25T18:47:00.000-05:00

Not much going on lately that's worthy of reporting... except with everyone going back to school and everything. With school starting within the next week, I dread going back. I guess since I have a few more years to go, I might as well get them over with. I thought about just taking my time but I guess a lot of ppl are being impatient. I just think I'll have that feeling that I'll be in a class of slackers and stoners that I'm already better than them and I won't feel motivated to strive better than them. Anyways, I'm not in it for them, only for my betterment.

I have set a few goals for myself this semester. These are my top 4, I hope I can do them all...

Find an hour a day, three times a week to work out.
Continue to work hard at both jobs.
Not drop any classes this semester.
Pay off tuition/credit card.
Fast food ONLY twice a week...

DVDs Purchased

Girl Next Door
Tenchi Muyo GXP Vol 5
Shaolin Soccer

I'll write reviews for them soon.

And to end on a few shoutouts to ppl

Mike and Shayna - Sorry about not getting back to yall the other day. I lost track of time. Wish we weren't so busy this summer.

Emma - Thank you for being a friend again. You know the whole story and I'm glad you saw past all the crap people said in front of you (and behind me) and still gave me a call and had the time to talk to me. Hopefully we'll be friends for a long time, hey we already outlasted Tom. Oh and I think I left my shoes at your place... (boy that doesn't sound good...)

And to everyone else I might have missed... I wished I could have done a lot this summer, but I had things to do. I hope everyone had fun and let me know how it was.

Near Future Plans
London Symphony Orchestra
Going to RAW in Wichita Falls... road trip!!!

2 Cents Or 200 Cents

2004-08-13T01:26:00.000-05:00

To those that are leaving after the summer, I wish you all well. I haven't kept in touch with some of you and I guess that you'll be ok. As for some of you, I can't even look at you some times. Some people I thought that were hard working good people are just immature and self devoted. Some of us just have to keep busting their ass all the time, and I guess I belong to that category. To those who actually took the time to try to get me to talk, hangout, spend time with me... I'm so sorry. I try to keep up, like read your xangas or blogs. I did want to hangout or something, but it seems like I had to put resposibility first before my wants. It's hard right now. I don't have much free time, ask my girlfriend...

I took the motto of "Pay Now, Play Later" a long time ago. And in a way it has paid off. I see others goof off and still act like children at a place of business. They can play now, and I'll reap the rewards for later. I have lots to show for because of that motto, but I feel like I need more.....

I feel as if I work hard enough, that I'll be ok money-wise. Two jobs has given me two views of how things should be run. And in a way it has helped a lot. But I've also developed my devotion to hard work more than it ever was before. That's great for me because I feel like I'm more of a better person and an excellent worker. I fell happy when I do a great job and even better when I can make someone feel good because of it. When people appreciate my work, I feel that should do even better. My work ethic is so hard and its helping me out as a person as well. The big downfall is that I also experience the exact opposite of hard work and efficiant business. It's a shame because I have to rely mostly on myself when I'm at the less efficiant business. It's hard to get help when you are always asked for it, and when others can't help themselves. Also, when others are at your level and don't help out when they understand what work you have to do. It sucks when the same people have to do the same crap when others have it easy.

Maybe I'm also a little angry and sad as well when I see this. I see people having fun and I'm stuck working. People ask me to go hang out, but I can't. I used to be with those that are having fun but now I'm on the outside. Well, someone has to do the work and it seems like I'm doing such a great job that instead of praise and a pay raise, I get more work. I just don't get recognized for working hard sometimes and I feel like others don't respect me because of it. The way that I see it, I'm better than those that can't do their work and make it better. Those that sacrafice and take the time to help, those are the types I need to be around. So until you gain my respect and show me a great work ethic, I'll know in my head that I'm better and not my equal.

It's hard to keep this vague and I can't think of anything without going into actual details, and if you know me then you should be able to figure it out. So all of yall can go have fun for now, while I'll have my fun time again and it'll be well worth it because it'll be alot better than anything you'll have in your entire lives. You just got P'OWNED!

Wise Work Words

2004-08-05T10:36:00.000-05:00

Some quick words from my manager in my email this morning...

"Here's $20 To Work My Shift?!?!?"
I am sending this message to all employees as I am 'stupified' at the fact
that ya'll cannot be enough of a team to just work for each other. We are a team
and should stick together. By accepting money form another employee for working
a shift says that you have no respect for your fellow employees and do not share
the common goal of assisting each other in a team like fashion. Team work? Team
mate? Some football teams, college, do not place names on the jerseys as to not
let one team mate shine above the rest. It is a team and everyone should relish
in the accomplishments TOGETHER. If you are only here for youself and do not
share any common goals of the restaurant or your fellow team mates, go work at
Chili's or Cheddar's, McD's is always hiring.

Stupified'
JIMI....

More people should be more upfront and truthful like Jimi.

New Pics Added

2004-08-03T23:44:00.000-05:00

Here is my first batch of pics for my new blog. It's a bunch of pics I've taken from the last few months and I never put up. I have pics from my digital camera, but I haven't uploaded them yet. But I'll try to get them up soon. In the mean time click the title to this post or the link on the side to take a look.

My Top 5 "Coming Soon" DVD's

2004-08-02T23:53:00.000-05:00

These are my Top 5 DVD purchases and my reasons that I can't wait for their release.

Aug 17th
Saved By The Bell: The College Years

If you didn't watch Saved By the Bell, then you're a freak because that was the show back in the early 90's that all the kids followed. I have the other box sets and I'm a rabid fan of the show and having the College Years will round off the show with most of the original cast. The other New Classes were never as good as the original.

Aug 24th
The Girl Next Door - Unrated Version

I thought this movie was great, an 8 out 10 for me. It was funny and entertaining. Plus Elisha Cuthbert is very very very hot! I can't wait to see what the uncut version has to offer.

Sept 21st
Mean Girls

Mean Girls was quite a surprise for me. I wouldn't have watched it if I didn't go with a group of people. But, I'm glad I did and its probably my surprise favorite movie of the year, 8 out of 10. Now everyone knows who Lindsay Lohan is and people just can't get enough of her. The movie is hilarious and from what I'm told, is a accurate portrayal of how some girls act around other girls. It also brought out another term for teenie-boppers that I like using now - "Plastics." The writing of SNL cast member and script writer Tina Fey made this movie great.

Star Wars Trilogy Box Set

The original trilogy... at least the first trilogy that I can remember. Star Wars is classic and nothing can touch them. I've been pretty disappointed with the prequels, probably because of the acting or lack there of... When Yoda is the best actor, then you've got a problem, at least IMO. Anyways, the originals are finally coming to dvd and they are going to be gorgeous. Knowing how much work Lucas puts into his dvds, he can't disappoint. Plus the box set looks sweet.

Oct 5th
Aladdin Special Collector's Edition

Probably my all-time favorite Disney movie is coming out on dvd and getting a special gift edition treatment. Similar to what the Lion King Collector's Edition, this one is going to be filled with extras that will make everyone (especially me) happy. Disney always gives you your money's worth with their excellent dvds.